The US Experience - III

I never dreamed of coming to the US.  For a simple, in the middle, middle class, Indian girl like me, US was that unattainable, so dont even think of it lest you walk the path of disappointment, place.  So apart from what I read about the US in the school's geography curriculum, the newspaper and watching movies that apparently came from Hollywood, I had no clue what US was like.  My not so talkative, husband didnt say much either cause for him everything is doable, manageable, learn as you go experience.  There were some really amusing events within the first year of my life in the US.

This was 1996,  washing machines had just made in-roads in India but not the dryers, so we hang clothes out to dry in the sun.  I knew vacuum cleaners, solar water heaters, solar cookers and bio-gas stoves as new technology but I didnt know vending machines, ATM's, dishwashers, garbage chutes, sinks with disposers, dryers, central heating systems, electronic security for entry into apartments, smoke alarms, hand dryers in Restrooms etc.  I also didnt know a lot of what is considered general etiquette.  Here are some of my was embarrassing but now hilarious moments.

We were living in Philadelphia at the time. Being new at the whole thing of maintaining a house, we needed to get so many essentials... My husband lived out of a suitcase before he married me.  He complains once in a while that if it wasnt for me, he'd be such a wealthy person.  So we went shopping, which was a major exercise for me for I hadnt seen such humongous places for shopping until I came here.  I would very easily get lost inside these shops. It took me a lot of visits to be able to orient myself in the Large space.  I am not someone who enjoys shopping so I use the easy way out, I look for the attendant and ask where I could find what ever it is that I couldnt find.  So I walk up to this young, handsome man in uniform with a name tag and asked where I could find a Torch.  He lead me to the farthest corner of the shop and showed me the Tiki torches, the kind that you stick into the ground outdoors. So I tell him that, that wasnt what I wanted but the small hand held battery operated one.. and he had this look of pure amusement and he says "ah! you mean the Flashlight".  I could feel my ears go up in smoke as I tried to hide my embarrassment and said "Yes, the flashlight, I'm sorry I used the wrong word".  Of course, he smiled and said "No Problem".

We went to my first fast food restaurant in the US, the McDonald's.  When it was my turn, I gave my order and the lady at the cash-counter asks "Do you want To go?" and I stood there looking blank, like she was speaking Latin... My brain was trying hard to reason - "why does she want to know if I want to use the toilet before she can give me what I want to eat".  My husband who was at the table realized something was amiss, he came to my rescue and said - "For here".  In all my life until that moment "to go" meant I needed to use the Restroom(washroom/toilet).  

When we used to go out for a walk, people, complete strangers would say "hi, how are you?" and I would stop to answer and ask them too but I was too slow, they would be a few strides away.  And usually every person I came across was TALL so one stride of theirs equals at least two of mine. It baffled me, why ask if you didnt want to know.  Of course, husband explained later that it was their way of being courteous...which to me was totally contradictory, if you are courteous, wouldnt you wait for answer when you ask a question?

The other thing that I had to learn was to hold the door in case there was another person behind me... unless you are hired as the doorman, you dont hold doors for people you dont know, in India.  So I was given the "Oh! How rude" look by quite a few people while I was learning this new habit.  The other being not addressing people by Name.  In India, at the time I was growing up, relationships were very Hierarchical. We usually use first names for peers/friends/people we know well, Mr./Miss/Mrs full-name for those who are acquaintances, "sir/madam" for anyone who is our "Boss" at work, teachers or in what we perceive as an Authoritative position and "Aunty/ Uncle/older sister/older brother/grandmother/grandfather" when we address anyone who isnt related to us but we perceive as elder than us. I had the toughest time learning to address people by their Names.  I would automatically shift to the generic address. It gets very embarrassing when you hear someone say in a no nonsense tone "I am not your Uncle". 

There have been a lot of corrections to the way I speak and write too.  I thought of continuing education, so I took a few credits at the local college and one of them was an English writing class.  I was very bad at spelling, My cheques were the teacher's checks, my honour/colour/favourite had to be honor/ color/favorite.  When I was asked to read and I read the word "schedule as Shed dule" I was told its Sked dule, Semicircle was Se My circle but Demi Moore was not De MY Moore, Albino was Albyno.  Then I learn that the place that I was calling San Jose(saying the J sound) was San Hosay and that San Juan was San Hu an.  I was completely confused with all that I had learned, it felt like I knew nothing. 

I had this teacher, whose teaching style was very difficult for me to comprehend.  He came to class and expected me and the other students to ask him questions and I was brought up in an environment where students were expected to listen, digest and regurgitate. The idea of asking/teaching the teacher was completely new to me. What were they paying him for if all he had to do was stand in front of the class to be shot with questions? I couldnt understand the reasoning. By the time I got a hang of his class we were done with it. 

I was the only Indian in my class.  You could feel the vibe of curiosity and distance when you walk in. It took a while before anyone warmed up to me, it didnt help that I wasnt the kind who would first speak.  So one fine day, my classmate with a drawl and another who used the words "aint" very often made this comment as we waited for the teacher to make her appearance - "You have a beautiful accent" said the Lady drawl and the Guy Aint says "Yes, I think so too" and I looked squarely at them and said "I think both of you have an accent, I speak proper English".  For a moment there was complete silence and I thought "Oh NO!!  I just got the foot in the mouth disease, I offended them" the Next moment there was laughter,  "You are right, we do have an accent".  Over all, college was a good experience. 

Our first Diwali, we finished our ritual worship and as is custom I put in the camphor for the Aarthi(the waving of lamps before the Deity). Of course there will be smoke but nothing big enough to cause a fire.   And the house that had been silent until then went into the Ringing mode.  I was completely panicked, I didnt know what was ringing, where it was ringing or why it was doing so.  The first thought that crossed my mind was Cops, and immediately disregarded it as they have a different sound.  So there I stood wide mouthed, heart pounding while my Husband immediately jumped to action.  He who never finds most stuff unless I hand it to him, found a towel big enough to fan in front of this small 4 inch diameter same colour as our ceiling, never noticed until then gadget. By then my camphor had died down and I was introduced to the silent, third member of our family, the Smoke Detector.

This blog was the result of reading this link that Dr. Giles put on his blog.  It brought back my own memories of  How things were when I first came here.  Hope you enjoyed reading them.

Have a Relaxed and Restful weekend.

Peace,
Rashmi.