Music for The Weekend

I have had a very distracted week.  Now that I take stock of whats done and what needs doing, I see I have half-done stuff lying around.  Most of my "To do lists"  have another list saying "find that to do list".(giggling)  We are still playing the cold/cough/fever/stomach flu/flu-flu merry go round.  I think I am sick of being around being sick. So I gave up and am going with the flow.  My brain has sort of shut down, its got a jumble of topics that I want to say something about but cant find the right words. The weather has been great these few days.. The sun has been shining and hence I feel like sunshine(thats what Rashmi means BTW for those of you that dont know).  I hope you guys have had a Good Week..

Now to Herald this Leap year indicator weekend and the Beginning of March(hopefully it wont be March Madness), for your listening pleasure Richard Clayderman.. Here's to Rest, Relaxation, Getting well and Rejuvenation.

 

Have a Wonderful Weekend Folks.

Rashmi.

Picture Perfect theme - Infinite

 

This is my picture for the Photo Friday theme - Infinite. Click on the photo to get a bigger version.

This was a picture taken At Talacauvery, Coorg, India. This is the birthplace of one of the Seven Sacred Rivers within the Hindu Realm, the Cauvery river.  It was evening and we were the only people there apart from the priests and caretakers. After our rituals at the temple, we climbed up some 400 steps to get to the top of the Brahmagiri Hills.. This was the view from the top.  It is said that the Sapta Rishis(7 sages of great importance- will write about them some day) conducted Yagna's(Worship via the Fire with chants and offerings) atop this hill. When we got up there sure enough, there were 7 pits that looked like it was fired at some point of time in history but I am not sure if those were the original agnikundh(firepits).

The mountains looked like they had no end or beginning, especially since the evening was getting colder with a light mist hanging around. 

Those who want to see more pics of Coorg click here. 

To read about Coorg Click here.

Have a lovely Weekend.

Go here for Picture Perfect rules and theme

Entry for February 25, 2008

Random Thought of the day- The Gift, not accepted, remains with the Giver.

In one of my weekend conversation with the little ones, I said that just because there are unkind kids at school doesnt mean that they have to be unkind to others.  I do subscribe to the view that we dont need to let others mould us into something we dont want to be. Of course, its not an original thought, it did come somewhere from my childhood readings of Buddha.  Specifically it came from a story I heard a long while ago.  It goes something like this- 

During his numerous wanderings, Buddha was once invited by a rich man to have dinner at his home.  So at the appointed time Buddha arrives at the man's house and realizes that the Man had an agenda.   The Man  began to verbally abuse the Buddha for his teachings, the kind of man he was and the kind of followers he had.  Buddha sat quietly until the man was done talking after which he got off his seat and left. The Disciples were very agitated with what they saw. They asked him why the Buddha did not say anything while the man was clearly being rude. The Buddha replied- I did not accept his gift and hence it is with him. 

The idea is that Hatred does not end hatred so do not retaliate in Kind.  Of course this applies only for what we view as negative behaviour. We would want to repay Kindness with kindness and Love with Love. 

But as I told my kids to not be unkind even though the other is unkind, I was contradicting my own words in my mind.   I have seen that not retaliating is considered as a weakness by most. I have seen that the Nice kids are the ones who become targets for bullying.  I see the ones who are unruly are the ones who get to get away with what they do. And I wondered if I was doing right by my kids, telling them to be kind inspite of the unkindness.  I wondered if I wasnt handicapping them in some way.  If I wasnt making room for someone to think they can take advantage of them just because they are well-mannered-good kids(at least for the most part).  Does that quote hold in today's world?

I hate the conflict my ideal world and the real world creates.  It annoys me to see that what I see as right and want to teach  kids to be like would become a hurdle for them to cross. 

I struggle everyday with what I should do and say and how I should become so that my kids would have the ethics but also the smarts to  live in a not so NICE world.   How do we do whats right and make sure our kids arent scarred in some way?  How do we  make them People with a conscience in a everyday world without a conscience?

Walking  in motherhood limbo
Rashmi.

On Identity

Identity : thats the word that I have been mulling over.  It all started with a few news clippings I read over the past 6 months.  The phrases included "eroding our cultural identity" "It is a matter of National Identity" "Native languages form a cohesive tribal identity" "confusion with Gender Identity" "contaminating our racial identity".

I looked at the number of identities I have and felt like a chameleon. I went through all the adjectives and adverbs I have to describe and qualify my "identity" and here they are in no particular order - Woman, Asian, Indian, south Indian, Hindu, Kodava, Bangalorean, non-resident Indian, teacher, nurse, Mother, wife, sister, daughter, friend, best friend, acquaintance, cyber-buddy, Stay-at-home mother, straight, 30 something etc. etc. Although right now I dont know what I am when it comes to National Identity cause to my people back home "I have no clue about whats happening in my own nation"  and to the people here "I have no clue whats happening here"  So guess my identity for now is Ignorance.  I also wonder how much trouble people who have changed their citizenship for some reason or other, Or those who have dual citizenship- have when it comes to identifying themselves with an Imaginary Line drawn to separate the borders.

The Dictionary defines Identity as "the quality or condition of being a specified person; the individuality and personality; The set of behavioral or personal characteristics by which an individual is recognizable as a member of a group; The distinct personality of an individual regarded as a persisting entity; individuality."

Now as I was doing this I thought, there must be some research done on this topic either in the field of Psychology or Anthropology.  Having studied neither of those subjects, I "googled"(why do I feel that is going to become a word in the dictionary somewhere in the nearest future) it and sure enough there was so much written about "identity", but it was mostly about Business Identity, whatever that means.  I thought the Identity of business was "making money". There was also stuff about Identity theft as in the theft of Identification cards.  So it got me thinking. We really have no clue about a person's identity, we just believe that the person is who s/he says they are.   There is no way of really proving that the existing person is who s/he says s/he is.  Identity is an Illusion.

In the field of Psychology, Identity supposedly develops during our teens.  Usually the quest for our identity starts with questions like "What/who am I?  What will happen to me when I die? When/How did I begin?"  We begin to see what we are capable off and what we want to do and where we fall in the grand scheme of things.  That means our identities are based on where we were born, who brought us up, what our circumstances are in the growing up. While the first two cant change, the last one does.  This further means that Identity is based on :
1. Memory- Memories of what we are told about who we are and memories of what we have experiences so far.
2. Character- The role we play(this is a key word, cause Play is transient) within a Society or Group of people.

When I look at those two words "Memory and Character"  I see that Shakespeare was wise though he used a Cliche' in his play As You Like It-
"All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages."

So our precious Identity is merely the characters in the play. We memorize our  acts(experiences) and Play the character to the hilt. While it would do most of us Good to hang on to the Joys and the Positives in our Life.  Most of us Hold on to our Wounds because we remember. We walk through life crippled 'cause we cant forget that wound. I think its a human condition, 'cause like Einstein's  relativity, time does seem to pass fast while we are happy and so it doesnt leave deep impressions like sorrow does.. Sorrow takes the longest winding path in time, or at least, it does Seem so to me.

Every once in a while we appear before people with who we cant show our wounds to and so we hide them, thereby changing our identities very subtly. We then walk for a while like as if we were never wounded, though it hurts. If we do that long enough we realize that we can actually walk like we werent hurt, if we decided to do so.  Some of us will choose to walk like that forever, others will choose to revert back to the part of the wounded soldier when no ones looking(we forget we are watching ourselves too). 

I have read that when a person is blind in one eye, our brains are capable compensating for the loss of vision by using the other eye more.  That for those who are Blind, the skin takes over the function of seeing, using the visual cortex(the area of the brain that is used in vision, changing its identity to something that responds to touch instead of vision). I wonder why the brain cant do that for our emotions.  Wouldnt it be great if the brain can override any negative emotion or emotions that put us in the STRESS zone, for more than one 24 hour cycle?  Or would it help to become aware. If we were able to see that these numerous qualities we associate with ourselves as part of our Identity is relevant only as long as we make it our contract to play that role.  If we decide, we could get off the stage and not play that role anymore or choose to play a different role, we only need to have the courage to step out.  I was told- "Courage is not about not being afraid, its about doing the things that you know will make you stronger in spite of being afraid." 

Pondering as Usual.
Mithuna.

Impromptu Music

The sun is shining outside, though its a little chilly.   

This is one of the songs that I loved when I was younger. Bob Seger - We've got Tonight.  I loved the lyrics.

I know its late, I know youre weary
I know your plans dont include me
Still here we are, both of us lonely
Longing for shelter from all that we see
Why should we worry, no one will care girl
Look at the stars so far away
Weve got tonight, who needs tomorrow?
Weve got tonight babe
Why don t we stay?

Deep in my soul, Ive been so lonely
All of my hopes, fading away
Ive longed for love, like everyone else does
I know Ill keep searching, after today
So there it is girl, Ive got it all now
And here we are babe, what do you say?
Weve got tonight, who needs tomorrow?
Weve got tonight babe
Why dont we stay?

I know its late, I know youre weary
I know your plans dont include me
Still here we are, both of us lonely
Both of us lonely

Weve got tonight, who needs tomorrow?
Lets make it last, lets find a way
Turn off the light, come take my hand now
Weve got tonight babe
Why dont we stay?
Weve got tonight babe
Why dont we stay?

Have a Lovely Day/Night

Happy Valentines - A Few Love Poems.

Here's wishing you all a very Happy Valentines. May your Love for each other and yourselves Grow. Enjoy these poems...

Kahlil Gibran on Love

When love beckons to you, follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden.

For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.

Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.
He threshes you to make you naked.
He sifts you to free you from your husks.
He grinds you to whiteness.
He kneads you until you are pliant;
And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God's sacred feast.

All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life's heart.

But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor,
Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.
Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;
For love is sufficient unto love.

When you love you should not say, "God is in my heart," but rather, "I am in the heart of God."
And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.

Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself.
But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.

Do You Love Me? – Jalaluddin Rumi

A lover asked his beloved,
Do you love yourself more
than you love me?

The beloved replied,
I have died to myself
and I live for you.

I’ve disappeared from myself
and my attributes.
I am present only for you.

I have forgotten all my learning,
but from knowing you
I have become a scholar.

I have lost all my strength,
but from your power
I am able.

If I love myself
I love you.
If I love you
I love myself.

 1 Corinthians chapter 13 (BIBLE)

1. I may be able to speak the languages of human beings and even of angels, but if I have no love, my speech is no more than a noisy gong or a clanging bell.

2. I may have the gift of inspired preaching; I may have all knowledge and understand all secrets; I may have all the faith needed to move mountains-but if I have no love, I am nothing.

3. I may give away everything I have, and even give up my body to be burned-but if I have no love, this does me no good.

4. Love is patient and kind;
it is not jealous or conceited or proud;

5.love is not ill-mannered or selfish or irritable;
love does not keep a record of wrongs;

6. love is not happy with evil, but is happy with the truth.

7. Love never gives up; and its faith, hope, and patience never fail.

8. Love is eternal.

How Do I love Thee? – Elizabeth Barret Browning

How do I love thee?

Let me count the ways.

I love thee to the depth and breadth and height

My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight

For the ends of Being and ideal Grace

I love thee to the level of everydays

Most quiet need by sun and candlelight.

I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;

I love thee purely as they turn from Praise.

I love thee with the passion put to use

In my old griefs, and with my childhood’s faith.

I love thee with a love I seemed to lose

With my lost saints – I love thee with the Breath,

Smiles, tears,of all my life! – and if God choose,

I shall but love thee better after death.

A Poem without  a Name or the Author, I read this at school when I didn’t know what Anon meant (giggling)

Love me not for comely grace

For my pleasing eye or face,

Nor for any outward part,

No nor for my constant heart-

For those may fail or turn to ill

So though and I shall sever:

Keep therefore a true woman’s eye,

And love me still, but know not why-

So hast thou the same reason still

To dote upon me ever! 

 

I love this one for its simplicity. This is from "A cup of Sun" by Joan Walsh Auglund.

I did not hear

   the words you said,

Instead,

   I heard the love.

 

Hope you enjoyed the Poetry.  Have a wonderful week.

 

Peace always

Mithuna.

Valentines Day.

In a couple of  days it’s the 14^th of Feb, celebrated as Valentine’s Day(I do think its a Marketing gimmick but thats topic for another blog)- A day of LOVE, although to me everyday is about Love.  It’s the glue that holds everything together.  I am amazed that it is the one theme that has- everyone, everywhere, no matter what their upbringing, culture or nature - twittering.  Most any famous poet/author  has a bunch of verses written about Love. Each different yet Moving, Touching, Making us aware of the emotion  that is a common thread amongst the seemingly different and separate us.   I am no different, I have used it as a theme many times.

 

For the past 3 months I have been on a Reading Binge- one of the books I have just started reading(I havent finished it yet) is “The Mastery of love” by Don Miguel Ruiz. He talks of Love as I envision it, the kind that is airy, with lots of room to breathe, grow and be.  I thought it would be good to share some of his   words with you. As I read this book, like most self-help books, it’s a re-enforcement of things I am still trying to get right(although I think that’s because I cant accept that perfection is an ideal).   I am convinced that any change can only happen if I change the way I see and do things around and within me.  That I cant go around and change everything that doesn’t look right to me in this world, but I can change the way I look at it or feel about it.  Here are some of his words… I am setting it to friends only because I wasn’t able to find any of his words on the web except for one of the paragraphs. I don’t know what the copyright rules entail but I wanted to share bits that I think is useful in our lives, if attention is drawn to it.

 

“You have to focus on the most wonderful relationship you can have: the relationship with yourself. It is not about being selfish; it’s about self-love. These are not the same”

 

“You are complete. When love is coming out of you, you are not searching for love because you are afraid to be alone.  When you have all that love for yourself, you can be alone and there’s no problem.  You are happy to be alone, and to share is also fun.”

 

“The problem with humans is that they don't know they have a magical kitchen (wherein, you can have any food you want, from any place in any quantity, without limitation or restriction) in their heart. A long time ago, we closed our hearts and we can no longer feel the love that is in there. At some point, we became afraid, because love isn't fair. Love hurts. Then we become selfish and close our hearts tightly. It isn't safe to love, we believe. Then in a relationship, there is a war for control. What we call love-someone who needs me, who cares about me-isn't love; it is selfishness. How can that work? Then we search for advice on love and sex. Yet, there is nothing to learn about love. Everything is already there, in our genes, in our nature. We don't have to learn anything except what we invent in this world of illusion. We search for love outside ourselves when love is all around us. Love is everywhere, but we don't have the eyes to see. Our emotional body is no longer tuned to love. People are starving for love, not knowing their heart is a magical kitchen. Your heart is a magical kitchen. Open your heart. Open your magical kitchen and refuse to walk around the world begging for love. In your heart is all the love you need. Your heart can create any amount of love, not just for yourself, but for the whole world. When we know that our heart is a magical kitchen, we are always generous and our love is completely unconditional.”

 

“Relationship is an art. The dream that two create is more difficult to master than one. To keep the two of you happy, you have to keep your Half perfect.  You are responsible for your half, and your half has a certain amount of garbage. Your garbage is your garbage.  The one who has to deal with that garbage is you, not your partner. If you partner tries to clean your garbage, she is going to end up with a broken nose.  We have to learn not to put our nose where no one wants it”

 

“If you cannot love your partner the way she is, someone else can love her just as she is. Don’t waste your time, and don’t waste your partner’s time.  This is respect.”

 

“See what is in front of you; don’t be blind or pretend to see what is not there. Don’t deny what you see just to get the merchandise when that merchandise will not fit your needs.  When you buy something you don’t need, it ends up in the garage.  It’s the same with relationship.”

 

“Perhaps you already have a certain amount of time invested in a relationship. If you choose to keep going, you can still have a new beginning by accepting and loving your partner just as she is. But first you will need to take a step back. You have to accept yourself and love yourself just the way you are. Only by loving and accepting yourself the way you are can you truly be and express what you are.”

 

I want to let you all know I feel honoured to have you all grace my cyber-life.  Thank you for sharing snippets of your life with me.  Thank you for the laughs, your encouraging words, funny comments and knowing that you share.

 

May this Valentines Day help you all focus on the Primary Step to Love : Self-love. Happy Valentines Day!

Feb 8th 2008-Picture Perfect-Theme-Water.

 

This was taken in Coorg, a small but picturesque district in Southern India.  This is where my ancestors are from.  It lies in the Western Ghats, a mountain range that runs north-south along the west coast of the Indian peninsula. At the time, my aunt lived in this Huge Coffee Estate with quite a few lakes.  I took a walk with my cousins along this particular lake which was so still as there was no breeze.  For a moment, I glimpsed my heaven, my Peace.  I had wished my mind could remain like this, serene pools, never disturbed, never chaotic, reflecting whatever the others did or said without loosing its essence.   I have a long journey to make to get to that kind of Serene-ness but someday I hope to get there.

The green shrubs that you see are the Coffee plants. Coorg has both varieties of Coffee. Arabica variety, which has a milder flavour of coffee is usually preferred internationally, hence fetches a better price for the farmers.  The Broad leafed Robusta is better suited for thriving in the lesser elevated regions of Coorg. 

To know more about Coorg, you could go to my earlier blog- A Travalogue here 

P.S. this is a weekly blog hosted by Foto-Friday. Check this website.

 

The Secret.

I watched this Self-help documentary based on the Laws of Attraction.  I didn’t know it existed although I used my own version of it on occasion, in my life.  

 

What was said isn’t something that I didn’t know, but like with most things in my life, to know and to apply has an abyss between them. So it felt good to be reminded.

 

These are the some of the words that my elders used to emphasize on, when I was growing up.

“Don’t say anything negative about what you are going to do or doing while beginning a job/work/phase of your life”

“Watch your thoughts/words for they manifest”

“Your surroundings is a reflection of how you are on the inside, so keep it clean”

“Rid of things you don’t use or have a bad memory associated with them, they will drain your life”

“Don’t ask “what is in it for me?” when your work/services are requested”

“What ever you lose, keep your self-respect”

“Wish others well, even if they hurt you, cause in that hurt is a lesson that will help you grow into the person you are”

“When the going gets tough, don’t ask “Why Me?” say  “Glad it wasn’t someone else going through this suffering””

“When you meet someone, be glad for it and Smile, for all you know, that’s all they need to get them through their day”

 

The Secret talks of all of the above and more.. The Main theme can be surmised as “You attract to yourself those things that you focus and pay attention to”. Of course, when we focus we should do so in complete faith, beyond a shred of doubt, ‘cause doubt is the killer of all good things.  Those were Carlos Castenada’s words too “It matters what you pay attention to.  We can make ourselves happy or make ourselves miserable. The amount of work is the same.”  So if we are constantly worried about failure, rejection, hurt- those will be the things we attract into our life.  If we concentrate on doing things with joy and enthusiasm that is what we will attract into our lives.   

 

It helped reinforce certain thoughts I already had. So I guess it came into my life at a time when I needed it… Now I didn’t really think about it but I did wish for some kind of sign that I am on the right track… Guess this is it, for now.

 

The Zahir - Paulo Coelho

 

I  have been  on a reading binge…I finished reading “The Zahir” by Paulo Coelho.  It is said to be autobiographical although I don’t know if that is true and to a degree don’t care if its true. It has a repeating theme that he has used from his other novel “The Alchemist”- a pilgrimage that the main character makes.  But the direction this pilgrimage takes is different than the one made in  “The Alchemist”.

 

Zahir – if pronounced  the way I think it is, would mean  “evident/obvious” in Urdu but in Arabic it means “present or  something  that cant go unnoticed” so I guess it means the same in both languages. He talks of a love that borders obsession, which becomes obvious to him only when the object of his love- his wife, Esther - suddenly disappears without a trace.   He goes on a self-examination spree while doing what needs to be done in life and gets to meet people who know his wife more intimately than he has ever attempted to know her.  His description of the Kazakh landscape is beautiful, almost made me feel like I was there.

 

There is this part in the book which made me go on my own inner quest- an answer to the restlessness I tend to ignore from time to time. Esther asks why people are sad? "That's simple," said the old man. "They are prisoners of their personal history. Everyone believes that the main aim in life is to follow a plan. They never ask if that plan is theirs or if it was created by another person. They accumulate experiences, memories, things, other people's ideas, and it is more than they can possibly cope with. And that is why they forget their dreams."  

 

It also reminded me of something that I see differently than most others... Patents and copyrights- Here's my view, fine we have all these laws that make it a crime should someone infringe the rights.  But here's my thought, nothing is ORIGINAL.  They only differ in presentation and the way someone said something, the message is usually said by someone, someplace in the past.  So the way I see the rule, if someone is dead and no one is gaurding that person's right then its ok to take that person's words or work and get credit for it.  Irony isnt it?

 

As I was reading, it felt like I was going through my own memories of what I have seen happen to others or to me at some time or another and the conclusions drawn from those experiences and the after-effects of those experiences. It does ask the question very subtly about what we choose to do or do without being aware - Do we shut-down certain aspects of our personality and work from a point of fear or do we open-up to the experiences and discover our wholeness?

What does it mean to love another? 

 

I did enjoy the read…

 

Here are excerpts from the book that was available on Amazon

My Own Style

She proclaims her Love,
Loudly in abandon to anyone listening,
While the words do not escape my lips,
No matter how deep the well in me.
You hold your arms out for her,
Telling her your hearts desire,
Yet, your heart hears not,
My silent, deafening scream.
I refuse to hold you tight,
Letting you be and breathe,
Not able to reach you
Or touch you the way lovers do
Yet, Loving you, in my own style.

Easy Listening for Sunday Morning.

When it comes to Music, I dont have a Favorite. I go with the flow, if something feels good when I listen, that will be my favorite for a time, until something else catches my attention. I have a preference for Instrumental music. It lets me feel without needing to really understand and I like that. There is something very raw about not needing to rationalize. Kitaro( born Masanori Takahashi) is a Japanese Musician. Although hes been playing music since I was a kid, I was introduced to his music about 3 years ago.

Heres Kitaro's Music

Enjoy Your Sunday. Rest, Relax and Rejuvenate yourselves.
Mithuna.

P. S. Incidentally its Kitaro's Birthday on the Feb 4th

Loneliness

I wish I could say- I am never lonely. But I would be lying. There are days when the only image in my head is a vast open space- no trees, no rivers, no birds, no people, NOTHING. Just me standing on this wide open area and there is no one there. I am scared sometimes, fine sometimes, but mostly scared. Today is one of them. I look at what I have become today and what I used to be yesterday and I see changes. Not good or bad, but just changes that I wish didn’t change or glad for the change.

I have people I know, or at least claim to know. I know, I only know what they are willing to reveal, what they are comfortable revealing to me. There will always be parts that I will never know and parts only I know about them. I also know I can’t share what I know about them with anyone else, b’cause when they spoke to me, there was a silent, sacred vow of trust that was made. A vow that I will not say anything about them that others don’t already know.

But in spite of all the people I know and the people I share my life with, I do get lonely. I am not always alone when I am lonely. But I do seek to be alone when I am lonely. I feel that is logical- to feel lonely because you are alone, compared to feeling lonely in spite of all the people surrounding you. When I was younger and a “productive” member of the society there was a loneliness of a different kind, the kind where you feel misunderstood or inept or ignored. Now its the fact that I am too old to be productive the way they see productivity.

Over time I have learned to hide behind chores, never letting anyone in on my melancholy existence. Yes, I hide behind chores, like the many people I know. They are constantly busy, any attempt at asking them to meet up and spend some time together goes unaccepted. They might accept out of obligation, or cause they cant be rude for the 3rd time or the 4th. But I see through that. I notice the lack of attention while conversing or the constant fidgeting with their stuff or the bored look on their faces, knowing full well that they will blame me for their boredom or the furtive glances at the clock or the wrist watch. I know they want to be elsewhere doing something else, so I stopped asking them to get together. You see, I am poor, the only gift I can give is the gift of my time, unhurried time.

Somewhere over my period of life, I began to feel a sense of hypocrisy in all these numerous associations we make through life. The labels we give to relationships- Friend, pal, buddy, sister, brother, spouse, colleague, boss, fan, idol. The boxes of time we allot in accordance to organizing time, the reminders on our palm-pilots of important days, the obligatory gifts we give on their birthdays, anniversaries, mothers days, fathers day, grandparents day etc…We call it prioritizing and scheduling. I wonder how much it actually means if it wasn’t something that was done because we Wanted to do but Had to do. After all if something is important to us we wouldn’t need so many reminders or formalities, would we? Remember that first love, did we ever need so many reminders about when we are meeting, what we are eating or what gifts we are giving? We just wanted time with that person. That’s what IMPORTANCE means, you give the only real gift you can give…Your Time. And like Gifts, you need to pack it without hurry, without worry, without expecting something in return. Time given not for the money or the fame or the name or the appreciation, but because its all you have, that is yours to give. I know what makes me lonely but I cant remedy it in this very busy world of mine. You see, to give you have to have someone who will receive.