Fiction in a Flash # 29 - Memory Lighter

He turns on the soft table lamp. She sleeps peacefully, as he tries to commit each line of her into his memory with adoring eyes. He steadies himself, methodically noting every minute detail of the day, in the measured circle of light, knowing, soon this will be lighter of memories, as disease claims his brain.

Tour Fiction in a Flash # 29

Random Ramble on a Lazy Sunday

I havent watched a lot of bollywood movies since my return from India.   Reasons range from not having unconscious access to hindi movies(like its on TV so I watched while doing my chores) to not having the patience to spend 3 hours watching it. Then last week I watched Delhi 6.. It was entertaining. I didnt like the storyline but it had some funny dialogues.  I didnt like the lack of conclusion in the movie but it was alright to watch it.  There was no song and dance around the trees, which I loved, but it did have a songs in it.  I am out of touch with Bollywood movies...This movie was a Flop in the box-office(I read about it after I saw the movie).  The plot was flimsy. It tries to see Delhi from a US born Desi's point of view and I liked the movement in that view from awe, open to anything, to acceptance and then disgust when things work out weirdly .

I have had a lot to think about, for those who know me, know that my life has never been without the thinking... My husband sometimes teases me before going to bed with "dont start thinking now, and if you are still compelled, think - sleep" cause hes been my recorder for thoughts before bedtime and after 13 years I guess, hes had enough, poor guy.  Ever since my Mother's passing, I have had to seriously question my beliefs.  I  see my life as directionless most times, not that I mind, cause it leads me to unexpected treasures.   But there are times when I wonder, should I actually take control of where I am going?  And my right brain argues with a question, Why? Where do you really want to get to? That stumps me. Cause I dont have a place to get to.. I have a need for moments.. Moments of awe, love, joy, gratitude, growth, knowing, understanding, care etc...so I wonder, do all of you have a Place to Get to and walked in Control of your destinations?

Moving on, I have had it with shelves that are beyond my reach.  The kitchen counters arent at a comfortable height to say knead dough or cut stuff up, the shelves and things that matter are built for TALL people.  Its been my peeve with all the TALL ones, cause they think, just because they can reach up for things and look down on me with such ease, I should be able to do the same.  Their one process job like -  look up and reach,  takes four processes for me - Look up and estimate if I can reach, then find the step-stool,  lift the stool and bring it to the place where I want to reach, then climb up and reach. Thats 1:4 effort, is it any wonder I am tired? Ok, First I am going to find some money and then I am hiring a Tall Handy Person for two months and get them to do all the jobs that require me to Stretch to my limit to reach.  Do you know someone who is over 6 feet tall(I did ask my family members back home but they are unwilling to come for this job description) and would work for food and clothes and is Trustworthy?

This week has been a week of surprises -- He who never reads what I write(my husband) read something  I wrote and said "You should write a book".  I thought I had died and gone to heaven.  I was in serious trouble with all the thoughts I had..what of my children, how are they going to survive without a mother at this age, would they like their step-mother.. etc.. etc.. and realized I had gotten ahead of myself and woke up.  And then two days later, He who never says anything(my dad) said over the phone that he was very proud of how my children have turned out inspite of not having help from my family to bring them up. I had to pinch myself to make sure I was not dreaming, cause I was so surprised he said it. My dear thoughtful son this week, asked me if I still felt sad about my Mother's passing.. and when I said yes I did sometimes, he told me to tell him about it when I did, so he can give me a Hug. (wiping a tear and thanking heavens above for his preciousness).  My walking in my footsteps, opinionated yet adorable, daughter, said that my flute playing sounded like the song it was intended to play.  Shes not quick to give a compliment.  This week has been such a wonderful week because of all these unexpected Treasures for my Treasure chest.

I have been reading The Law of Attraction and The five love Languages of Children on recommendation from my friend, Sophia.  I now wonder if I had a good week due to the subconscious working on what I read or it was just a good week. Hmm.. doubt is definitely not a good friend of mine, its the rain on my parade. So I am going to stop.  The books are good, though its old wisdom in new packages and new word-definitions... As I read it I realize, I should have wrote down the things my Grandmother did and said instead of labelling it as superstition or tradition.  It would have been a best seller too in the non-fiction section.

Its Sunday, and I havent got anything done, we had a lazy, lazy morning.  Breakfast was boiled eggs, fruits and nuts.  Our Yard looks neat cause we raked the piles of leaves yesterday while the sun decided to shine.  Today, it is cloudy, but I am not feeling cloudy, so its good.  All in all, I have had the best week this week and feeling blessed.  How has your week been?

Have a lovely Sunday and a Productive rest of the week.

Peace
Rashmi.

Irony?

You pride yourself for Honesty
As your words cut ruthlessly
I speak the Truth, same as you
Fingers Point in accusation
For Toughtlessness, Irrationality and Immaturity
Self, a witness to mute dichotomy.

Poetry Wednesday - This, I believe

Along the steep climbs
And the deep falls
Within us something stirs
A knowing-we will be alright
A glimmer of hope
We hang on or rise from
That edge, that cave
To become More
More of what we could be
More than our illusory dreams
In the season of Ripening
Time stands in Applause
For our Resilience,
This, I believe.

Each, a speck
In infinite space
Twinkling at the other
From a Distance
In rare moments
We touch each other
Giving myself to you
Receiving you unto me
Completely transformed
Basking in a Glow
We stand Before the other
Time, silently bows
Seeing our Truth
This, I believe.

The Old one smiles
Ready to leave
Words suspended in silence
Love envelopes beloved
A faint knowing remains
In those left behind
We hold the old one
In our eyes, our soul
Now and forever
They speak through us
In our hopeless moments
Time, flows in timelessness
For our eternal spirit
This, I believe.

K P Rashmi - January 2009

Poetry Wednesday- Stroll through here

Creative Challenge 9 : A moment in Time

Leafing through the Album
Eyes scan the Photos,
Black and white and colour
The  smiles and frowns
The stiff and candid
Cherished memories
Though twas a moment in time.

The whispered nothing
The Cheeks blushing
The shyly held hands
At love's beginning
The coyness in the eye
Cherished youth
Though twas a moment in time.

The silent words mouthed
Behind an elder's back
Beneath the Mango tree
The stolen kisses
At our parents home
Cherished moments
Though twas a moment in time.

The joyful re-union with friends back home
The teasing and affection bestowed
The crash around the bend in the road
Taking you away from me
Twas also a moment in time
Yet, the pain and grief lasted Long
Until, I remembered
All those moments in time
We cherished together
Knowing, you left me
Stronger than I ever was
Now thankful I walk, Holding on
To those precious moments in time.

Waltz through here for Creative Challenge Entries

Marriage

Her elders said

“Do your Duty,

Practice frugality,

Steady your mind,

For treasures you will find

Keep each other for always,

Together, walk life’s pathways”

With Joined palms and bowed heads

Accepting blessings

Quelling misgivings

She walked hand in hand

With the stranger, now husband.

 

Not knowing the reason

For being in the prison

Of suppressed Passion

Never without Caution

Every Thought, a rebel

Her emotions in constant swell

Waiting to go forth,

A chance for rebirth.

 

Craving for the elusive

Keeping her Captive

Until she could

Break free, she would

When completely cornered

No way to go, but Forward

She walked with head held high

Not letting others in on the Lie

Marching like a soldier

Putting aside every boulder

Pretending to be brave

Making efforts, never to cave

No time to think

Of her being’s kink

 

With times chisel, She became that

The Lie, of Duty’s Format

Through Duty, she found Loyalty

Through loyalty, she lost frailty

Loss of Frailty, made her Brave

Brave, while facing her grave

Now, she didn’t have to hide.

As She walked with Pride.

 

November 2007 - K P Rashmi.

Lifeboat

Vinod, one of the bloggers I enjoy visiting regularly for a dose of art in my everyday life, has hosted his Second Story from the Picture challenge. I did write for his previous Challenge too. It was immensely enjoyable experience. I loved the many entries as it re-affirmed my belief about perspectives- There are as many as there are people and none are Wrong. This was my entry then. The rules are simple, all you need is your thoughts or imagination. This is my entry for the second challenge. I hope you Enjoy.

Floating on the eddy
Joyful and steady
Keeping our calm
In every storm.

The smoothness of my bow
Cutting the waves below
The strength of my stern
As we hold our own.

Fishing for a Life
Without any strife
With many good Catches
And regretful Misses.

Yet, they do not matter
In the lives we flatter.

Those balmy nights of love
With blessings from above
In the sea's womb
Love knows no Doom
The storms disappear
Calm waters appear.

I watch you watch the sea
And wonder
Do you notice me?
Do you see the illusions,
Behind everyday solutions?

Tired from the journey
I look for a gurney
Hoping for the drop of an anchor
To see the depths I hide.

Embarrassing moments

This is my entry for Naina's Request.

On some days I wonder what was I thinking... that is, if I was thinking at all. I have a deathly combination of traits, I am cautious but absentminded, just the recipe for several embarrassing moments in my life. Some I cant even mention, my face suffers excessive blood flow .

Episode 1- Lovely chewing gum
I was in the 6th grade and we were invited to our neighbours home for a christmas party. Just before I got out our door I had to have that chewing gum treat that my uncle got(it was banned in our home so my parents never got me any). I had to feel COOL right?

So I chew and chew and chew on it... at my neighbours house. I want to spit it out but I couldnt tell my dad that I had a chewing gum in my mouth. So I do the next best thing I could do, I stick it to the side of my gum around my molars and hope my dad would decide to leave soon that way I could get home to spit it out.

After sometime I couldnt feel the chewing gum so I stick my index finger in to check...BAAAADDDDD idea. the next thing I knew, there was something sticking to my index finger. So I use my other hand to pull it out. Two BAADD Ideas in a row. I now had a few strings of chewing gum stuck all around my fingers. My dad saw it and didnt say a word, Uh Oh... The neighbour uncle decided that the best thing to do to remove chewing gum was to use oil.. Another BAADD Idea. It had to be a hat-trick of bad ideas didnt it? So here I was with the chewing gum stuck in all of my palm and fingers, and there were all these people I didnt know, asking me what happened... Was I embarrassed? I wished it was not me that all that was happening to. I wished I was dreaming. I wished I could disappear for a while. I wished I could turn back time to when I put that chewing gum in my mouth. Ah the could haves, would haves, should haves that I thought about.

Episode 2 - My favorite Jeans.
For my sixteenth birthday I got my favorite piece of clothing-a pair of jeans. I know for most Americans this is a cheap, everyday piece of clothing but it wasnt so in India when I was growing up. It was such a favorite thing that I wore it every chance I got. So one evening I dress in my Jeans and white t-shirt and go to get some grocery for mom. It was such an excitement to dress in my Jeans, riding my bicycle to the grocers. Along the way I pass the park where a group of boys were playing cricket. One of them stops and looks at me and the rest follow.. My typically teenaged brain went "ah I must look Goooooooddd in this pair of Jeans and T-shirt, must wear it more often." So I hum along, finish buying the things my mom asked me to, get home and give her an account of how much each item was and give her the left over change. My Mother looks at me and asks "did you go like this to the grocers?". "Yes". My mother starts to giggle, "You didnt zip up". "Oh MY GODDD, no wonder those boys were staring". I avoided going by that route for any reason, for a very long time. Even today, I double check when I wear Trousers. I wasnt embarassed, I just became obsessive compulsive when it comes to being cautious.

Of course now, being older and (hopefully)wiser, these dont embarass me anymore.