What is FUN?

I have been wondering about FUN..Usually when I tell people I dont drink or smoke or like partying, they tell me that I dont know how to have fun.  Of course I smile and let it go.  I think its just that my idea of fun and their idea of fun are on two different universes(giggling). 

Heres whats fun for me --

Reading a book, eating popcorn or roasted peanuts or hot pakoras or masala vada or spicy roasted corn on a rainy evening. Fun is not being pre-occupied with the to do list of the day, having a hearty laugh,  watching the plants grow, flowers bloom, the sun light on dew thats on a spider web, snow/hailstones falling, thunder, lightening, watch a sunset/sunrise, going for an early morning walk, going to the beach to listen to the waves and feel the sand beneath the feet, walking on the dewy grass, Listening to bizarre stories kids make up and their laughter, have friends over or go over to their home or just get out for a picnic, Going to some place where we could hike in the woods or just listen to all the birds tweetering, watching a good movie/comedy, good conversations, surprising someone with a gift/compliment when they least expect it, reminiscing about our childhood, listening to stories of their lives from the elders, picking ripe fruits from the tree and eating them.

Hmm.. thats all I can think of now.. whats your idea of fun?

Entry for July 28, 2006

This going to be a meandering blog, the kind that doesn't have a particular topic but just flies from one to another like a butterfly flitting across the flower  patch.

Been watching the Israeli-Lebanese conflict on the CNN and on Link TV- I loved the pointing fingers attitude of the Israelis; anyone speaking against their actions is "Anti-Semitic".   Guess "yatha raja, thatha praja" (as the king, so are the citizens).  The person speaking on the Israeli side said- "it wasn't a crime to defend ones own borders, no matter what the cost, we are defending our homeland".  I have no stake in either country but I do have a stake on the World's peace at large and I wondered so aren't the Lebanese doing the same?  Defending their borders no matter what the cost?  Applying the same concept elsewhere in the world's conflicted areas- None of them are wrong cause everyone claims to be fighting to "defend their borders".  They have piled their egos to such heights that now its too late to turn back or for one of them to back down even if they might want to(wishful thinking on my part). 

I was reminded of something I read long ago about relationships- "In an argument/fight, never corner your opponent, always leave room for a way out, for in the end everyone wants Peace" Its common sense ... if you corner someone in a conflict.. There are only two things that can happen 1. You are powerful so they will submit and constantly plan to hit back and die trying 2.They will hit back with all they got either killing the one who cornered them or die fighting;  Either way the chances of dying fighting are the same.  In effect, their chances of survival are bleak so might as well die fighting, after all there is honour in that. It is what anyone will do if they have nothing to lose and nothing to live for.  

Moving on to the concept of Loyalty.. It's a trait I really admire. My introduction to this trait came with my grandparents and reading of the Epics. My favorite characters were Laxman, Rama's brother from the Ramayana and Karna, Duryodhana's friend from the Mahabharata. I also admired Bhishma and Drona for their sense of duty and loyalty to the king in spite of knowing that they were in the wrong.  I have no clue what breeds loyalty. Is it the need to hold on to something tangible? Is it a dreamy ideal? Does it have limits? Is it enforced? And if it is, is it internally enforced because of some self motivation or is it externally enforced due to societal pressures?  What influences a person to be loyal?  How does one get to being loyal enough to give up their lives for a cause/person?  Still dissecting this Ideal.

Selective Blindness is something that becomes very apparent when I listen to news- When there were wars going on in the continent of Africa or in Asia unless there were some US or NATO citizens involved in the conflict somehow, it is rarely mentioned.  I notice that when the ABC says World news.. it usually means that its news around the world where US in involved.. Not really world news.. Cause to me When I say World News.. I would pick a few nations in every continent and present pertinent news of the day. Waiting for a day when we really mean the World when we say World.

Moving on to photography.. why does the afternoon sun make the pictures hazy?   The pictures of the Grand Canyon are all hazy. After a really long drive we got to the rim of the Canyon at about 3 PM.. and all the pictures I took are Hazy. Yes, I was annoyed and sad, especially since I don't know if I will ever go there again.. And then the news flash of the day- I went there some 6 years ago and still whining about it <<giggling>>. Going to give it a rest.

Conclusion of the Day- I need to stop watching the news- too many conflicts around the world, it makes my pot of optimism sprout a leak.  But then I need to know what's happening in our World- ah!!the indecision. Its late and I guess I need to sleep. A new day could bring some order to my meandering thoughts.  Goodnight...

Me according to blogthingys

I saw Foxygoddess's blog today and got a little too curious with the blogthingys(tyvm foxy).   I hope  now you all know ALL there is to know about me.  Just dont tell anyone else  <<giggling>>

 

Your Five Factor Personality Profile

Extroversion: You have low extroversion. You are quiet and reserved in most social situations. A low key, laid back lifestyle is important to you. You tend to bond slowly, over time, with one or two people. Conscientiousness: You have medium conscientiousness. You're generally good at balancing work and play. When you need to buckle down, you can usually get tasks done. But you've been known to goof off when you know you can get away with it. Agreeableness: You have medium agreeableness. You're generally a friendly and trusting person. But you also have a healthy dose of cynicism. You get along well with others, as long as they play fair. Neuroticism: You have medium neuroticism. You're generally cool and collected, but sometimes you do panic. Little worries or problems can consume you, draining your energy. Your life is pretty smooth, but there's a few emotional bumps you'd like to get rid of. Openness to experience: Your openness to new experiences is high. In life, you tend to be an early adopter of all new things and ideas. You'll try almost anything interesting, and you're constantly pushing your own limits. A great connoisseir of art and beauty, you can find the positive side of almost anything.

The Five Factor Personality Test

 

Bangalore Traffic.

Among all the things that amuse me and sometimes annoy me about my Home city- Bangalore, Traffic takes the precedence. 

School chapter: Traffic was non-existent.. except for buses, cycle rickshaws, tongas(horse/mule drawn carts), bullock carts, tempos(three wheeler trucks), vans, a few mopeds- Luna and suvega being the most famous, scooters- vijay and lambretta being the most famous, cars - usually an Ambassador or a Fiat-padmini were the norm and auto rickshaws(a mini three wheeled taxi).  Hmm.. Now most of them are in the antique section except for buses and auto richshaws. Life was good. Yes, the Parthenium(a weed) caused major allergy and asthma flare-ups but it wasn't bad.

College Chapter: Traffic increased a little but it was alright, it just took about 20-30 mins to cover a 50 km range on a Moped.  The bus services were dismal.. Places like Shivajinagar, Majestic, KR Market was a place to avoid during peak hours.  Waiting for the bus was the favorite pastime (NOT).  Cars increased, thanks to Rajeev Gandhi and his Open Market. Among the Scooters the Bajaj Chetak began to be the choicest.

But Life was Good, cause if we didn't get a bus on time, we could always walk from college to the home in 40 mins or about an hour depending on how fast or how slow we walked, and eat all the goodies along the way. And no one thought of the state of the Roads, it was just something to promise at the time of elections and reneged on when elected. Potholes and dug up pavements and Speed breakers, nay! Spine Breakers were a norm.  Parthenium became less due to "development" but smog increased making the Traffic Police's Tenure at his/her job, the shortest.

Job Chapter: Traffic went up drastically.  Roads started getting clogged.  What used to take 30 mins now took, hmm we don't know, depended on where the traffic jam was at. If we say we are going to be anywhere at a particular time and intend being punctual, we required to leave home at least 2 hours or earlier depending on where we lived. Hence the IST(Indian Stretchable Time) became more Stretchable.  But life was good because at least there was a job that bought in some money, so what if we had to take off every now and then with aggravated allergies.  There were also parks and lakes and greenery and the people were still the same - laid back, hospitable and really nice.

We also read a lot about how the UN was going to help us build our "infrastructure"  (which I thought meant roads and other amenities) and then we saw no action...ah my Puny mind could never comprehend the workings of Bureaucracy, the government and the UN. I also felt a tad ashamed -we are the most densely populated country but couldnt come up with the money to build what we need, although me and my parents and those I knew payed their taxes? But then I brushed that thought aside with-  "well, ask for help when you cant do it on your own.. its not shameful to ask for help, is it?" and all was well in my head.

NRI Chapter: After I left my country to live with my husband, I dreamed for the most part, of how Bangalore was, based on what I formerly knew Bangalore to be..  I read the news most every day, just so that I don't miss out on all the happenings in Bangalore (what can I say, I am very attached to my place of birth). Every time I called my parents, relatives or friends back home, we would get into this lengthy discussion about what's changed, which road has become hopeless/better/one-way, which restaurant/shop/companies have closed down, what has come up in its place, how the traffic is, What are the new vehicals on the street etc.. etc..

Recently I visited my home city and was thrilled at the improvements and disappointed at some things that haven't changed for the better. So now we have some flyovers (YAY!!)  but the roads still get clogged (sigh). We still have people who have no clue what is is to follow traffic rules(sigh) but every now and then you see someone following the rules (YAY!!). Most every one is in a perpetual state of hurry(sigh) but then they are still hospitable and nice(YAY!!). The parks, lakes and gardens have been cleaned up and maintained better than before(YAY!!) but you still have nooks and corners that become dumpsters and toilets. (sigh). We still get to see our version of vintage vehicles- the bullock cart, the tonga and I saw Camels... imagine my awe.

Last but not the least amusing part of my looking for changes in Bangalore Traffic was the banners that had been put up for Traffic Day's .  Here they are.  Have fun viewing.

Memories.

wet monsoons,
smell of the earth,
cozy evenings
lovely gatherings
around the hearth,
hot pakoras and chutney.

Hot summers,
dust in every pore
cool winds blowing,
Busy streets,
People lost in their minds,
rushing, working
At times, hard to breathe

cool springs
sleepy breeze
saplings growing,
beautiful bowers
sweet smelling flowers
holding a promise of life.

Autumn arrives
A choir of dry leaves
Changing colours
Dreamy hours
Lessons on Death
Just beginning.

These are memories
That constantly replay
Everytime I look back
On those carefree days.

Tour the Creative Challenge #71 for more word/picture smiths.

Vacation Journal-3

Bangalore was my home for almost 25 years of my life and I thought it will always be home.  Bangalore is my cocoon- a very familiar, comforting place.  Ah! I was so wrong.  I was "home"  for five weeks and although I felt rushed for shopping, visiting people I care about and eating all the foods I craved for, I was ready to come "Home".  I have had to re-define my idea of home.

The Bangalore I visited was a far cry from the Bangalore I grew up in.  Gone was the leisurely pace that I so envied when I was studying.  Gone was the familiar fresh air, thanks to vehicle smog.  Gone was the typical June weather- hot in the day and rains cooling off the evenings.. its mostly sweaty now, thanks to my acclimatizing to cooler temperate weather of NW USA.  Gone was the two wheeler world.. now it is mostly four wheelers and two wheelers in equal numbers, creating roads dotted with traffic jams. Gone were the shortcuts to different areas in the city, now there are one ways and no way to get out of being lost on the streets.   I heard more English being spoken than the familiar Kannada.  I saw more out of state(and country) people than the ones who had a history there.

So I went deliberately looking for the familiar and then realized I just needed to scratch the surface.  There were still people who loved hearing someone else speak the native language; someone who knew the old Kannada songs; someone who knew the old corner food joints.  The temples smelled the same- camphor, flowers, incense sticks. It felt good to hear the familiar church bells and the early morning Azaan calls.  

The old Markets had the same look to them.. bulks of fresh foods next to smelling rotting ones a little distance away. A reminder than nothing lasts forever, everything is transient, so make the best of what is the now.  People who will still ask you if you are so and so's daughter living in so and so place.  Elders who would shower you with blessings when you bow to touch their feet- A reminder that you need to be a little lower(humble) to receive blessings in life.

The fast food places serve the same foods but the size of the servings have shrunk with a marginal increase in the prices.. There are more restuarants now that cater to the busy lot.   Tender-coconuts are still a lovely treat, as are the chaat stalls.  Auto-drivers are still the pain they used to be--they will go everywhere except where you want them to go and never have change. The traffic police gave out vibes that were the same- they were there to harass.  Their end of the month collections are very important and they are justified in harassing individuals.  The words "Adjust maadi" (just make do with what is even if its not what is comfortable or what you paid for) is still in vogue.   

There seems to be marked improvement in roads and amenities but it is mostly in areas where the big MNC's have set shops, except for telecommunication.  In other areas- there are still power cuts, water supply just 3 days a week, long waits for cooking gas,  buses that are overcrowded, streets that are actually a pothole gallery, water lines that are open in some places, roads that seem to be in a constant state of repair and the dream of a pavement for commuters on foot a far dream.  Telephone has become a part of everyone's life 10 years ago, only the elite/affluent could afford a telephone. I was surprised to see the neighborhood door to door vegetable vendor talk over his Cell phone.  The streets are dotted with people who at first sight seem to be insanely talking to themselves until you realize they are on the hidden cellphone.

 

No Promises

There was no promise
Yet, here I am
Waiting as always
For just a glimpse of you
To hear you say something
Maybe throw a glance my way.

There was no promise
Yet, here I am
Wishing I was the one,
Standing by your side,
Being part of your life,
Even for a short while.

There was no promise
Yet, here I am
Hoping you never hurt,
The way I do
Every time I watch you
Smile at the lady beside you.

Touching the ground you walked on,
Your warmth seeping through,
Breathing deep as you pass by me,
Your cologne etching my memory,
Listening with my whole being
Your voice,  a melody for my soul,
Working together, so close
In your presence every waking hour,
Knowing the futility of my life,
Remembering, there was no promise
Yet, here I am
Here I Am.

Vacation Journal-2

I had my cousin's wedding; I was so looking forward to.  I like weddings, mostly because you can actually meet up with long lost family members whose addresses and phone numbers you always seem to lose.  Weddings present me with this huge opportunity to do what I like doing--observe people.  I also like weddings for the food( yes, I am a foody).

Most people at the wedding didn't know who I was-the perks of living abroad.  Some thought I belonged to the bride's family and some thought I belonged to the groom's family; And I kept the mystery, when they asked me who I was-I only told them my surname (which I don't share with the bride or the groom).  

I got to hear the good comments about the arrangements at the wedding and the not so good comments too; it was fascinating to hear stuff from people who have never ever  conducted any large scale function before, commenting on what was done wrong at the wedding.  Guess its true about what they say about opinions (which also holds for mine).<<giggling>>.  I noticed that, for all the clinging to what is Coorgi amongst my people... They weren't sure of the customs and traditions. I was glad to know that I wasn't the only one who wasn't sure about stuff.  Ah it feels good to have company.  The conclusion I drew - there isnt anything precise that really defines someone's Coorgi-ness...there are only some imagined illusions that we so wish were true.

I met some really lovely people.. I got to meet most of my relatives, acquaintances and friends. The food was delicious.  But I did miss having my kids and hubby there.   There were things I learned about my own people that made me proud and also made me disgusted.. But then these are to be expected.  All in all it was a great exercise in observing humanity.

Vacation Journal-3(the final)

 

Vacation Journal-1

It's two days since my return from a five weeks vacation in Bangalore.  I am brain dead from fatigue.  My feet are as swollen like peeled potatoes in water.  And I am acutely aware of every muscle in my body.  My eyes can't seem to keep themselves open.  But I am happy to be back with my kids and have my head hit the very familiar pillow. I already miss the people back there, although I understand I am far lucky compared to my parent's generation, when it comes to communication.   I can have a conversation with the family and not feel the dent on my pocket.

I took a sabbatical from being a wife and mother and went alone.  I was skeptical about enjoying the trip.   I thought, I would be miserable as I would miss my kids and my husband.  But the other option was that of taking the kids and risk having them fall ill (like they have done over the last 3 trips) and have the vacation cut short by at least 2 weeks of hospital trips.   So off I went, Alone.

The flight was quite uneventful except for the tour I took at Kualalumpur, Malaysia.  There was a group of Desis, most on the same flight as I was, who wanted to go for the tour.  It was a 10 hour stop over.  So 10 adults and 9 kids got into two vans and off we went visiting the Batu caves, independence square, the King's palace and Petronas towers.  It was a fun trip. They were a fun loving lot. 

Malaysia is a country that is really green.  The roads and parks are well maintained.  It was hot and humid.  A word of advice- please do take water or exchange just enough ringits(malay currency) to buy some water.. most shops(except in the big malls) do not take credit cards.  Also wear something that doesn't stick to your body when you sweat.

I was impressed at the architecture of some of the buildings in Kualalumpur.  The Petronas Towers, the stadium, the independence square, the airport are very creatively put together.  Most of us climbed up the 262 steps up to the Batu cave temple.. The view from the top was awesome.  The inside of the Petronas tower  felt like viewing the peeling of a bud or the layers of an onion..Returning from the trip we were all very tired.. the chatter in the van had died down, replaced by gentle snores.

I have been lonely but I have never really been alone.  It is one of the perks of being a housewife, you are really never alone. Even when there is no one physically around you, you are constantly pre-occupied with thoughts of the people in your life.  What would they like for lunch/dinner/breakfast;  what needs to be talked over with the spouse;  where would the children love to go this weekend;  who is visiting us(or invited us) at tea or dinner;  what new activities could my children do, etc, etc. I had forgotten what it felt like to work on a full brain without any pre-occupation of what I needed to do next and for who I had to do it. I finally was able to think about what I want.

Vacation Journal-2