Entry for March 01, 2007

I have been a tad busy with life. Life has a way of catching up with me and forcing me to pay attention to the everyday mundane stuff. Sorry for not being on your beautiful pages. I hope to catch up with all of you soon. Until then, heres something I had to share with you. A very good friend of mine sent me this.. I believe that Life is in the details. Life is in the those nanosecond length moments - when we touch someones heart, when we make the gooiest caramel, when we smile at someone or hug someone or feel the joy. I do have a tough time practising it... but I try to be aware of it. Here the clip for your viewing pleasure.

Tribute to Friends

This is my entry for Rajashree's festival of Friends.

I am the kind who is very reluctant to give a title of friend to someone unless I feel confident enough to bestow that title on them. I have some really great friends. Some of them as old as my teeth and some very new- still, walking on eggshells. A few have been lost in time but not forgotten. I wish them well always, no matter where they are- May the sun shine brightly and the rain fall softly them, so they see the rainbow they have made my life.

I think I have been very lucky when it comes to friends. I have had, what I consider very pertinent messages come through them which have changed the way I view life. I call them my visible angels. Usually they are the ones who shine light on my flaws and become safe habours when I need one. During my school days, I hardly knew what it was that made friends. Anyone who played with me was my friend. But in high school I learned that Understanding, Honesty and Trust were important ingredients in friends. Gradually the simple "you play, you my friend",  became a complex maze of qualities. In college, I learned that there was respect and boundaries with friends and that what holds for friendships holds for any relationship. For any relationship to flourish, we have to know how to be a friend. My oldest friendship, that I have still maintained is 22 years and youngest is 1 year old. I try not to make claims that this or that person is my friend. I am patient with giving this title, I usually let time tell me who my friends are.

I believe that we meet certain people when we have a need and once the need is met we move on. The universe has checks and balances system, so it gives when needed and takes away when the need is fulfilled. I also believe that Friendship, or any relationship for that matter is like holding sand in your hands- the tighter you hold it the faster it will slip out. So being possessive, clingy, self-centered, overbearing, dominating, jealous or overly dependent is not a way to be friends.. I have had a particular friend for a particular phase of my life. Although I maintained contact with most, somehow we end up being physically far apart. I have learned to cherish however little time I have with the people in my life. I miss them but I also know that they and I have already given each other what we need. So I have made it my life's policy to give something positive to who ever it is that walks into my life. From experience I have learned that distance does not come from physical distance but from the walls we create in our heads and hearts.

I don't think a page is enough to mention all my friends. They have my love and gratitude. It has been an honour to have them for friends. We have been there at different times for each other to laugh with, cry with, rave and rant with, play with and get mad with. It's a smile on their faces or the food we ate from the same plate. Its been that blunt honesty or that diplomatic guidance. Its been a hand up at a dark moment or a push down as we blew our trumpets but we were there for each other. To silently sit with each other when we didn't want to talk or to get into a chattering rampage when we felt like it.. To eat ice-cream on a rainy day or hot pakoras on a hot summer evening, to talk about our fears and know that we wont get laughed at. We talked of our frailties knowing that we wouldn't be taken advantage off. We complimented each other when we needed assurance, freely giving what was needed and could be given at the time, accepting what was given without asking for more. Friends have taught me to be their friends, they have a share in who I have become.

Thank you. You all know who you are.
As long as Forever is
Your friend
Rashmi.
P.S this song reflects the way I feel about friends

Sorry I couldnt find a translation. Will put it up when I find one.

Update - I got the song translated -

If god said to me "ask what you want to have"
I would ask for a gathering like I have today, someone to share a cup of wine, someone  to share a meal with, someone who journeys with me, someone who understands my heart. Someone awesome cause they shine like the light.
Friends are my conscience, my life
Love between close friends is the biggest Bond anyone could have Friends are my conscience, my life
Whereever the strings of the heart is strummed, there is always the tug of love.  In those whose hearts there is love, people always admire(surrender) to them.  Love brings beauty, love brings simplicity.
Friends are my conscience, my life.
If my life was lost for a friend, it isnt something I will regret.
If my friend is sad, it means I am no more alive.
Cause, where we are, in that place there Happiness dances and sings.
Friends are my conscience, my life.
Why does my flower like friend seem withered,
It does seem like he has become a victim of someone's evil eye
Nothing is hidden from me, just let me listen to you.
Tell me what does a smile from you cost(implies I am willing to pay the price whatever it is)
if you want I will bring the stars and moon from the sky
I will bring the most youthful, beautiful
Hope you enjoyed the lyrics. Some words cant be translated to give off the appropriate meanings.

Safe Haven

His muscles strain
As the raised axe falls
Chopping wood
To warm our home.
Through face shadowed
with the years of work,
I feel his kindness
Like it was yesterday.
He took me in, while I was lost
To work for food and board
I worked the day, masking pain
From his watchful eyes.

A broken vase, I was
With cracks showcased
I had no place to be
For no one wanted me
No place was safe
As the quietness of him.
Glad was I, for his silence.
He asked no questions,
Expected no answers,
His eyes willed me strength
He wiped my tears
Alone, I fought my fears,
Or so I thought
Until it became a habit
To have him around.
He treated me right
Unaware of my plight.

That was years ago,
When I couldnt smile.
Here, in the now,
My heart is warm
We have each other
Taking what each could give
As long as we live.

Indian Humour (360 repost)

As Human beings most of us enjoy a good tickle. It brings forth bubbling mirth, laughter and is very pleasurable. As we grow older our sense of humor gets refined and with it comes the realization that there are things that tickle our Mind. Unlike the tactile tickle of toddler hood, the tickle of the mind has a wide range of sources. Good play of words, subtlety, and a straight-face during narration are some of the characteristics of good Humor. Really good comedians know how to be honest without offending the listener's sensibility. Depending on the receptivity of the observer, what a person does, their clothing, their mannerisms, accents while using a non-native language, what they say or write becomes the source of a mental tickle. When it comes to humor, nothing is Sacred.

Humor plays a major role in life. There is usually someone in our lives who we like being around because they have a good sense of Humour. If it was not for some funny people in my life, I don't think I would have enjoyed my present disposition to life Most of them are Indians, and most have a very subtle sense of humor. Their wit is wholesome. You have to pay attention to the words that is said and those that are not said, along with their demeanor, tone of voice and gestures used to really understand the humor

The hierarchical society in India has etiquette that is very different from the West. Humor is a very sensitive matter for Indians. Most of them are very private, when it comes to joking. In India, it is understood, that there were places and times that were appropriate for joking. Most Indians are mindful of the elders, people from other language groups, foreigners and people who were different either by caste, economy or profession. Humor was to be used discreetly. It was considered ill manners to poke fun at a teacher or priest as these vocations are highly respected. Holy books, religious observances and knowledge are considered sacred, so we usually don't make fun of holy books. Of course, like all things, it is always fun to break the rules. We can always poke fun of the sacred, privately, amongst our own peer group of like minded people.

To an outsider, it would almost seem like Indians are the most emotionally suppressed people in the world. They would rarely find them joking. Most Indian kids would hear this common warning an elder would use, is "Ladayi ki jadh, haansi; Bhimari ki jadh, kaansi"  meaning - The cause for war, a laugh; the cause for disease, a cough. This proverb has its basis in the Epic, Mahabharatha. The War of Kurukshetra, is an 18 day long war between the cousins, Pandavas and Kauravas. The war supposedly began over one laugh in the hall of Mirrors. Panchali, the wife of the Pandavas laughed at Duryodhana, the prince of the Kauravas when he jumped into what he thought was a pool of water in the hall of Mirrors. Panchali laughingly comments that it was to be expected since he was the son of a blind father. That comment was too much to bear for Duryodhana's ego. He avenged his insult by making sure the Pandavas lost their kingdom in a game of dice, leading to the war of Kurukshetra.

There is not much literature on Indian Humor or its traditions on the Internet and not many books written about Humor in the past or the present. And if there were any, it is probably lost in Translation or to the various book burning fiestas of imperial Invasions. I became interested in finding out the traditions in Indian humor after a good friend of mine suggested I look into the topic. I had presumed that being an Indian acquainted with Indian Humor, it should be an easy thing to write about but I was surprised. I have had to draw upon what have "heard and read" in the recent times as opposed to what I have seen in the past literature about Indian humor.

I watched the movie "Looking For Comedy In The Muslim World" with Albert Brooks. I was quite disappointed the way it was made.  Would I recommend the movie to anyone? I would say, watch if you want to, it didn't impress me. His sense of humour was lost on me, but maybe you will find it funny.

In Indian philosophy, humor and a joyous disposition are essential for a good life. The teachings of most Great Gurus usually have a good dose of jest. Swami Vivekananda said- "The first sign of your becoming religious is that you are becoming cheerful". Either laughing at oneself or at another is implemented in teaching the philosophy of life through Indian perspective. The purpose of humor is the same no matter what the cultural base. Humor eases displeasure, fear or disgust; helps an individual cope with the stress in life. Truth is a bitter pill but tempered with Humor, it is easy to digest.

The Sanskrit word for Humor is Haasya. In the Natyashastra, an Indian treatise on Dance, Emotions called Bhava, has nine rasas or moods. Rasa also translates as Taste or flavor depending on the context. Haasya or mirth is one of moods. Indian historical accounts talk of "Vidushakas" -jesters, most every kingdom and king had at least one. In the Puranas, the attendants of Shiva, the Destructive form of God, play different roles, of which "Pramatha" is one of them. A Pramatha is the one who teases, hassles or harasses another to the point of laughter. They are usually depicted as dwarfish, potbellied, impish, playful characters in sculptors and paintings.

Unlike the genres of humor in the west, there is no a clear distinction of satire, wit or parody in Indian literature. Most Indian kids get their first introduction to Indian humorous literature, through the tales from Panchatantra, Hitopadesha, Birbal, Tenali Rama, Krishna and the Festival of Holi. There is humor within the Epics, the Ramayana and Mahabharatha. The Panchatantra and Hitopadesha had stories with morals while presenting the ideals and values for a harmonious life, in a humorous manner. The stories of Birbal, Krishna and Tenali Rama were more about using our wits and humor to deal with troublesome situations. Raja Birbal was a Minister in the Moghul king Akbar's court. Tenali Rama was the court poet during the time of the Pallava King, Krishnadevaraya. Tenali Rama was a scholar of several languages and wrote in 5 different languages. There were stories of Krishna and his boyhood pranks which appeals to the kids for its simplicity. The festival of Holi marks the beginning of spring and is usually celebrated in the months of March-April. The major feature of this festival is pranks played on each other. Although the legends and philosophy attached to it is somber, it is a sort of All fool's day with more color and goodies to eat.

In the early 80's the stories of country bumpkin, Supandi, who ended up being in hilarious situations either because of ignorance or absentmindedness was a source of laughter. The stories and poems by Kaaka Hathrasi, mostly written in Hindi were quite famous. The 80's were also the time for funny sitcoms over the TV and Videos in different languages. The most famous ones used to be the Punjabi and Pakistani skits. In the late 80's there was a production called "Flop show" by the comedian Jaspal Bhatti. I particularly remember this theme about a Wake for a Dead Telephone, which was a situational comedy. It poked fun of the state of the Indian Telecom Industry of that time, its bureaucracy, its inefficiency and the apathy of the general public.

Every culture has its own stereotypes, flaws, idiosyncrasies and foibles. Every region in India has some sect of people who become the victim of humor. There are Gujju jokes about Gujarathis, Mallu jokes about Keralites, Bihari jokes about people from Bihar, Bong jokes about Bengalis, Sardhaji jokes about the Sikhs etc. Each usually talking of a particular mannerism, attitude, accent, the use of language and the way they live. The most famous of the Sikh jokes used to be about the two characters Santo and Banto Singh.

There are also writing styles for humor. While many are in prose and short story formats, there are those in the form of verse. This format is used in Kannada writings. It is called "Hanigavana" meaning short poem. They are usually two to four lines long and deal with socio-political aspect of life. The poet attempts to show the reader what is wrong, while tickling the reader with clever use of words.

Jokes in Indian languages do not sound funny to those who don't know the language. The translated version ceases to be as funny as it sounds in the original language. The subtle nuances that a language carries are lost. Maybe, that is the reason there isn't much information on traditional Indian humor. After all, Indians are reticent about their historical traditions and don't think highly of record keeping, they rely more on the oral accounts and memory. Also, there are not many Indian Sanskrit scholars who are proficient in translating Humor from the traditional texts to English language without losing out on the subtle nuances.

With the advent of globalization and technologies that has made the world smaller, the Indian comic scene is changing. There are, comedians who are making a name for themselves in their adopted countries with adopted languages. Although Stand up comedy is not particularly well known in India there has been a spate of stand up comedians within the Indian Diaspora outside India. Crystal Gomes and Russell Peters are Canadians of Indian Origin who have made a name for themselves in the field of stand up comedy. While in the USA, there are about half a dozen comedians of Indian Origin who send out laughter via comedy clubs. Anand Chulani, Vijai Nathan, Dan Nainan, Paul Varghese and Vidur Kapur come to mind. There's Papa CJ and Ayesha Hazarika in the UK. Melvin Durai is an Indian based in Indiana, who writes humourous articles on all things Indian. He also does occasional Stand up comedy. I really enjoy his humour.

With a lot of Indians now residing outside India and the Countries of adoption being generally smitten by all things Indian, Indian humor is a Niche market. There have been attempts in the recent years to get the comedians of Indian Origin together to put up shows in different parts of the world. We will probably see more such attempts in the coming years. How much of that humour is actually Indian and how much of it is Influence due to being removed from India is something that remains to be seen.

Entry for February 13, 2007

Every now and then, I find myself needing a reminder to center myself.. Yesterday and today are those kind of those days. I have been quite busy since friday trying to get done the things I kept putting off, like clearing the closet of clothes that dont fit anymore. For some reason, I seem to have been constantly interrupted from what I was planning to do to something others(family) wanted to do. Guess, its the universe reminding me to go with the flow and stop controlling every minute of my day. Here's one of the things I read when I am agitated like I am today.

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrmann, Desiderata, Copyright 1952.

The two zero's

So I finally hit that blog number with two zeros that says I have way too much time on hand. This is my hundredth blog. Like always, I am split on what it means. Heres the thoughts going on in my head in no particular order

1. Ok its just a number.
2. But who would have thought that I of all people in this world would actually have said the things I have in the past year.. Oh MY God!! I must be insane.
3. Surely there must be a pill for Blog Diarrhea.
4. Do I stop writing now?
5. Hmm.. who knows I might not have anything to say now that the number has shocked me.
6. It did feel good to write. Especially since this isn't an examination and theres no grading.
7. Its an awesome feeling to care about these people I never met, and made friends too. Yes, I am growing old.

Now, a short history about how I came about to Blogging.

I used to hate writing at school. English composition used to be 25% of the total marks for the subject. I hated it with a passion. I didn't have anything to write about, and I lacked imagination or so I thought, especially when the teacher said "write an autobiography of a Coin".  uh? Coins talk?

At college, I had the same hassles with English except that I loved the Shakespear's Dramas, we had- As you like it, Romeo and Juliet. I never thought I could fall in love with a fictional character until we had Hamlet one year and boy! did I have a crush on Hamlet. I wondered about how he felt and what it would feel like to walk in his shoes. I think I would have loved to be Ophelia, as long as she didnt go insane. I also fell hard for Roark from Ayn Rand's Fountainhead. Ah! to be like him, knowing what he wants and knowing how to get it. Looking back, I think, I must have been sick in my head to want to walk in Hamlet's shoes or loving Roark of all characters I could choose. After all I had a perfectly normal life, as normal as normal can be that is.

It was in college that I first started to journal, initially it used to be a rambling of what I did during the day and what needs to be done. Heres a sample "Need to redo the cantilever experiment, the error margin was too large. So attend the lab on Saturday. Better do it alone, pray my partner cant make it. Math homework is due on Friday. Have a Hindi test next week Wednesday. Need to figure out a logical reason to ask for more pocket money so I can bunk class and go to the theatre. Of course, I will have to lie.. Practice before the mirror for at least 1 week before asking for cash. God, please forgive me for lying. Hmmm maybe I should forget about it. Need to find out how much that paint brush costs. I wonder if I will have enough money to buy it by next month. Oh, its already 11 pm.. need to sleep. Goodnight." That was the beginning of my writing skill(giggling) .

The other thing I used to do was write short verses and tuck them in a file. This used to be about my Physics teacher "Evaga barkolli(now write), everyday/ does she ever go out of her way?/ the same lullaby everyday/makes me want to fade away/Oh if only I had my way/I would surely wish her away." These notes never saw the light of the day, cause I was too shy to say or show to anyone that I wrote verses.

After I married, writing opinions about events took my boredom away. It kept me busy in my head. The first time I put my opinion out in public was on a web forum about education in India, that was when I realized, that if I felt strongly about something I could write well about it. I also used to chat on Yahoo in the Religion rooms, that is when I was introduced to the Yahoo 360. I have come a long way. I am here.

Thanks to all you lovely folks, who drop in here to read my blogs. You are the invisible muse who constantly amaze me with your beautiful blogs. I feel honoured to read the thoughts you share. I learn more about humanity and the way we are as I read the words that come from your hearts. You are also the people who boost my ego horns, with your inspiring comments, encouragement and appreciation. Thank you for letting me know your thoughts about what I write. Now off to do some chopping of those ego horns of mine before they put a hole in the ceiling. Please do sign my guest book.(Thank you Shailji, for showing me this newest thingy). Its my way of saying- Its an honour to share your world. I hope I touched your life the way you do mine.

I remain humbly

Your blogmate

Mithuna.

Restlessly Seeking

It's a small world, they say, with places to see and things to do, People to meet and talk to. For the most part of my life, I am the watcher, I watch people, I watch myself, and I wonder, "Why is it so difficult to connect?" When all we have to do is trust and be ourselves. Maybe, we are mere bumps on a huge stretch of invisible foil of connectivity, but we only see the chasm, while sitting on the bump. "Is this all?" I ask "this is all there is to life?" - all I have is a bundle of habits, contradictions, paradoxes, cliche' and ironies. There is nothing I can conclude and hope for it to stay constant.

What do I wish for? I wish no one ever went hungry to bed or had any disease. I wish everyone felt loved, cared for and had someone who wished the best for them. I wish there was an answer to world peace. I feel a sinking helplessness when I see the maimed youth, crying orphans, widows selling their bodies for food, widowers selling their kids for food, elders who have no one to care for them, bruised trees, poisoned waters, cracked earth soaked in blood and ashes from insatiable fires of greed, power and bestiality. A sneer escapes me "Yes, there are winners in a war."

I want to shake people and make them see the beauty there is to life and living, with its rich tapestry of emotions, ways of thinking and creativity. I want to make them listen to different kinds of music everyday, so that they are reminded that life, like music, isn't all about the noise and sounds but the quiet pauses in between the notes.

I want to run away, in the hope that I can be free. Then I hear a voice chuckle and say "you can never be free, you are here, tied to the NOW, no matter how you worry about the future or how badly you crave the past, you are here, right now in the NOW, so make the best use of it". I would love to soar like an eagle and feel the wind beneath my wings. The courage to raise my face to the wind in defiance, as if to say... "You may blow strong but I still know where I am going."

I want to say so many things but silence reigns. Words do not tumble like I do, through life. If I could be all the things I want to be “I would be a Student of life, a healer, a teacher, never dwelling in the past but be able to BE. I catch its glimpse every now and then and then it becomes Been or will be. With all these thoughts taking over, I try to calm down and rest but Rest eludes me... At best, I am Restless.

My Restlessness drives me to seek the meaning of Life. Why me? Why here? Why Now? Why with these others? Why this path? What purpose? To What end? These are the questions that plague me.  "Life is what you make it", the elders say. While to me, the walk of life, is long and tedious. There is no pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, but I am compelled to walk. There is no place to get to, there is only the walk. Along the way, my eyes scan the landscape, looking for some movement, seeking things of beauty, the kind that may not be apparent at first sight. I seek people who are camouflaged by other brighter people, for I know they bear the best gifts. I seek people who seek, so that I know we are Kindred spirits. I seek to observe, from the minute patterns on a Leaf to the subtle expressions on people's face. My mind, seeks to look into the depths of feeling within the people I know, to understand the measure of feeling if any. My mind wants to be able to lend muted comfort to those in need of comforting, just because it could. I seek to do things for the sake of doing, because I can do them for now. I seek the teachers, whose soul is as old as the earth itself. For in their understanding, I feel I will learn all there is, I will learn to BE. I seek Knowing, knowing of Self, through which I feel I will know the others. I seek the darkness, for I feel, that is when I will find light. I seek light, so that the darkness in me will not consume me. I seek an understanding of all that IS. I know that I cant KNOW everything but still I strive. For in striving I feel my existence. I seek people who cultivate nobleness and know to walk in truth, no matter the consequences. For I feel, from them I will learn courage. I seek Love, the kind that will set me Free. For then, I will feel no need to "Hold On". I seek strength, the kind that needs no proving. For then, I will learn Humility. I seek harmony within and outside of me. For then I can achieve Peace. I seek to satiate my senses, while learning to transcend them. My mind seeks Joy, the kind that has no reason outside of our selves. I know not if my reasons for seeking are True or if they will Hold. I could be wrong in my understanding of why I seek or how to seek. I know not if I will find what I seek but I seek all the same. It's something I can do, apart from "Living". So I seek, till I realize with all of my Being that, what I seek, I already Have.