Checking my appearance
Tying imagined Double knots
Around my skippity heart.
Breath steady, now ready,
With a clop of the heels
I walk past you
Thinking “no thoughts”
As we work Side by side
Like Ants in a Bivouc,
Each day, knowing theres
Nothing you could do
Even if you knew of
The skipped heartbeats.
We lunch together
As collegues do
Sitting at the table
With those others
Smiling, as we pass the salt
Completely unaware are you
Of the control I exercise
To not reach for your hand
Of the calories spent
Trying not to think of you
The nights spent
In imagined if only’s
Wishing, I didnt wish for you.
I stack the files on your table,
Indicating what needs doing.
Pulling a veil over my eyes,
Hoping to hear my name,
Just so, I have a few more moments,
In your presence.
The moment passes,
With the clop of my heels.
Straightening my back,
With seeming dignity,
I walk through the door,
Doing the only thing I can do,
Love you from afar.
