Thursday, November 22, 2007

Crushes until now

This is my entry for Vinod’s Fantasy Festival.

For all my seeming sensibleness, I do suffer from crushes. Its part of the Dichotomy, that makes me. I am also very fickle when it comes to crushes… they hardly last a week after I have seen the Movie. I have noticed that it isn’t the actor that I have a crush for but the character he plays. And even in that character, there is a pattern. I fall for Historical Characters or Characters from a Book/Story(yes! If you want to be my crush, you have a Ghost/Illusion for a Rival, Can you Win? Yes, I can be conceited). So here they are in no particular order.

Sir Lancelot : I watched Michael Vartan play this role in the Mists of Avalon and yes.. Michael Vartan is Handsome, but I read about Lancelot at School and loved him since. I felt he got a bad deal in life, no one should have to choose between a friend and the one he loves.

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Attila the Hun : Gerard Butler playing this role was real eye candy, could I help it if my heart went like raindrops falling on a window sill? After I saw the movie, I went on a Historical Reading Binge on Attila.

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Geronimo : The native American Warrior, who fought to keep his ways alive and had to give in to the sands of time.

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Ardeth Bay : The Protector of the Secret in the Movie “The Mummy”. Yes it did help that the part was played by Oded Fehr.

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Priyanshu Chatterjee : I loved watching his character in the Movies “Tum Bin” and “Pinjar”. In the former he plays the part of a person guilty of a hit and run redeeming his act. In the later he plays the part of a Brother in search of his kidnapped sister in the Middle of the Partition Era(India,Pakistan).

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Braveheart : Mel Gibson as William Wallace was very endearing to me. A true warrior heart, all out when it comes to courage, love, loyalty and Trust.

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There are others too- Liam Neeson as Rob Roy, Father Ralph from the Thornbirds, Ken Watanabe as Katsomoto from The last Samurai, Takeshi Kaneshiro as Jin from the Movie "The house of the flying daggers", Roark from The fountainhead, Karna from the Epic Mahabharatha, Lakshmana from the Epic Ramayan, Vali from the Ramayan, Brad Pitt as Tristan Ludlow in the movie Legends of the Fall and as Achilles in Troy, Vikramaditya from the Historic Kings of India. I have crushes on voices too- Sir Sean Connery's Lisping voice, Sir Anthony Hopkin's crisp no-nonsense voice and Sir David Attenborough's deep, I have to listen to even if I dont want to voice, to name a few. In real life, I love my husband's voice, but shh! dont tell him I said so, I dont want him becoming too proud for me to handle.

The list is huge. I will stop for now. Guess there is no concept of Loyalty or Fidelity when it comes to Crushes. I am going to enjoy the ride as long as it lasts.

Friday, November 16, 2007

Scars

Beautiful Faces

In Ornate Cases

With skin so smooth,

In blood warm sheath

Youth seemingly pours

Through unseen pores.

 

Yet, the look in the eye

Says more than a sigh

Eyes cold and dead

Filled with the unsaid

Numb to the gnawing

Deep in the soul’s calling.

To pay attention

To the summation

Of that which you are

Much more, by far

Than what others see,

Those few drops in an open sea.

 

Beneath skin anoint,

In the pain of a joint,

Warm from blood’s kindle

On the fold of a wrinkle

On the bump of burned skin

Tucked under the jeweled pin.

Footprints in your heart

Sands that sets you apart

Scars, visible and invisible

Scars, of tears and smiles

Scars, borne in a wail

Scars, held in a silent sail.

 

Do not Despair

With thoughts Unfair,

Scars Enhance,

Life’s Romance,

Strengthening your insight,

Holding beauty in  plain sight.

 

November 2007- K P Rashmi.

 

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

To my Grandchildren

My bones now creaking like old doors on hinges desperately needing oil, I sit and look out into the distance. The Distance of times gone by appears very sharp. Yes! Most think we humans like to romanticize a by-gone era, simply because of nostalgia for an imagined goodness. There is no one to blame except for time, for that kind of thinking. But I have to try to beat time, to leave you, my grandchildren, an understanding of what I have come to understand. You see, in my present state, that is all I can leave for you-Words from experience and understanding. Goodness comes from understanding what Badness is and learning to Master your Mind to stay away from it. There is no evil, except the unwillingness to make an effort to devote ourselves to that which brings harmony within our minds. If you watched a class with students not paying attention, you will find that the moment the Teacher quietly turns around and watches the Class, each and every student will begin to respond by quieting down. That, is the Silence the Teacher wills INSIDE her mind, moving OUTSIDE to the Students mind. Harmony, like Silence moves from Within to the Without. Cultivate your minds to seek out that which serves harmony.

In the days of my youth, we understood respect because respect was the Norm. An Elder, even if they were born just one day earlier than you were, was given respect because they have irreplaceable experiences that the one extra day gives them. A young one was given respect because they learned by example. Giving them respect meant continuing the cycle of respect, so they know how to respect others. We spoke and addressed the young, the same way we would address someone older than us, that way the thought of ever using disrespectful words have no place in their inheritance. So practice respecting yourself by paying attention to doing and saying things in a manner that increases esteem in your own eyes. Respect for others comes when you know how to respect yourself.

An Elder was the keeper of knowledge- of families traditions, of nature’s working, of all things learned from the foundation of knowledge from those before them. Our Elders knew what it was to be an Elder, the one that guides those depending on their Wisdom. They understood that wisdom was lost when arrogance entered their minds, and hence always acted in Benevolence…They knew to live without infringing another’s right to live. Taking only what they need, not what they want, is what keeps the delicate balance within Nature. We all know what we need but most of us care about what we Want. Listening and Doing, more than Preaching lead to building bonds. Cultivating good speech was a virtue. Being Honest and Ethical in our work and taking responsibility for our actions was a virtue that made a man or woman out of us. To practice compassion, mercy and forgiveness while not giving into greed, anger, jealousy, envy, or our ego was the practice of everyday life. Everything in life has a unseen boundary and a harmonious family lived within this boundary. When you do something for the very first time, it is difficult but once you do it, it becomes easier the second and the third time. This holds for crossing boundaries too. Once you cross, the boundary is broken and usually it is hard to get back inside and build it again. Which is where responsibility comes in. Being responsible means learning what is appropriate and acting on it. Being responsible means that when mistakes are made, you dont blame someone else for it. The Idea of responsibility is not merely apologizing for a mistake but for remedying the mistake.

You, my grandchildren, are foundlings in the learning. I want to leave you with what I know so that you may build on it. The future rests on you, hence you need to be that brick that is still in the kiln. A lot of burning has to be done to become strong-Burning of ignorance. I know the world around you is not what it used to be when we were young. But there are a few constants apart from the obvious ones like day and night and the seasons. I have learned that each of us has a place that is exclusively ours. There are a lot of distractions today than we ever had in our time but you still have constants, that those who came before you had- the quality to discern what is good. Ask yourselves if what you are thinking or saying or doing builds on what is already being built or does it bring down what was built by the endless efforts of your ancestors before you? In that answer lies the Truth, the Constant.

While doing something remember that simple every-day acts have consequences. And Consequences are like words, once out of the mouth, they can’t be taken back. Think about what consequences you would like before you act for in that answer lies the Truth, constant.

Find that place of quiet within you. Look at how you grew from infancy. Do you see? You learned to walk before you learned to talk. That’s the universe telling you the rule of life, always walk the walk before you talk the talk. When you walk in Truth, there is no need for talking.

Remember nothing is yours to keep for eternity, so pass on that you learned in the quiet, to those younger than you. That is our purpose, to add to the brick that builds. Live like a warrior, remembering that you could die any moment. Be not afraid of death, for that is what every living being does, it is not special. For a warrior, to remember death, IS Living. Use that reminder to do what needs to be done right now, so that you never die leaving unfinished work. To Die without regret, with dignity is to die Honourably. So, do not shame your ancestors with the fear of death.

I understand that you will feel like I am talking of Utopia. But I urge you to think of it and look upon changes that have happened within your own lives. Ask yourself, if you willed it or it fell upon you? Keep an account of all your thoughts before the changes and after the changes, you will see that everything came from your thoughts, even the thought that merely passed and you thought was inconsequential. Yes, thoughts manifest. So direct your thoughts to that which you want to manifest. Keep your thoughts clear, so that when it manifests there is no confusion.

Do not weep on my departing, for I leave a part of me within each of you, you only need to listen to it in silence.

May you always remember the blessing that you are.

Saturday, November 3, 2007

Marriage

Her elders said

“Do your Duty,

Practice frugality,

Steady your mind,

For treasures you will find

Keep each other for always,

Together, walk life’s pathways”

With Joined palms and bowed heads

Accepting blessings

Quelling misgivings

She walked hand in hand

With the stranger, now husband.

 

Not knowing the reason

For being in the prison

Of suppressed Passion

Never without Caution

Every Thought, a rebel

Her emotions in constant swell

Waiting to go forth,

A chance for rebirth.

 

Craving for the elusive

Keeping her Captive

Until she could

Break free, she would

When completely cornered

No way to go, but Forward

She walked with head held high

Not letting others in on the Lie

Marching like a soldier

Putting aside every boulder

Pretending to be brave

Making efforts, never to cave

No time to think

Of her being’s kink

 

With times chisel, She became that

The Lie, of Duty’s Format

Through Duty, she found Loyalty

Through loyalty, she lost frailty

Loss of Frailty, made her Brave

Brave, while facing her grave

Now, she didn’t have to hide.

As She walked with Pride.

 

November 2007 - K P Rashmi.