God IS

I feel reluctant to talk about God
For I have Seen
If I talked of God to the others
There will always be a someone who doesn't believe like I do
My noise about God will make them argumentative
Making us lose the harmony that Envelops ALL.
There will always be someone who believes like I do
My words about God will make them feel the Strength in Numbers
Making them believe that they can get away with anything they do to others.
There will always be someone who doesn't believe in a God
My talk about God will sound like judgement to them
Making them disconnect from who and what we are to each other.
There will always be someone who claims God with a different Name and Meaning
My talk about God will sound like I am bragging and boasting
Making them want to put me in my place.
There will always be someone who worships God differently
My talk about God will sound disrespectful and blasphemous
Making them want to teach me the RIGHT and ONLY way.
There will always be people who don't have the same morals and ethics as I do
My talk about God will seem like I am imposing on them to live like I do
Making them Resist my open-ness and trust.

I hold God like my husband-
In the depths of my heart,
In sickness and in health
In poverty and in wealth
In Love and in Hate
In Kindness and in Unkindness
In All those ambivalent moments.
God is in how I hold Nature
With care enough to let her be
Without arrogance, with reverence.
God is in how I hold my Friends
In the Care, Nurture, Support and Kindness
In the laughter and the tears
God is in how I hold children
In awe, love, joy, being there for them
In the ouches and the giggles
God is in how I hold my elders
In respect, surrender, obedience and reverence
In learning through their wisdom
God is in how I treat strangers
In respect,  trusting and helpful
In listening to their messages.
God is in the Work I do
With dedication, in humbleness and sincerity
In doing my best in all that I can do
From Now that wasn't the Now
To the Then that will soon be Now
From the Place where my body stands
To the Places that my mind can reach
Within the Depths of my Heart
To the expanse of the Universe
God just IS.

P.S.  This is the only time I am making an exception to talk about God…I do this ’cause I felt the need to Vent and be Done.

To Have and To Hold

Tears threaten to fall
Everytime I see you
If there was a Having
I couldnt have You.
If there was a Staying
I couldnt stay by You.
If there was a Holding
I couldnt hold on to You.
I think of  what it could have been
If I Had, Stayed and Held on to you
Would you have remained the You
You were when I first saw You?
And Tears threaten to fall.

Creative Challenge 20 : Tempestous

Forbidden

Across the Room
Their eyes did meet
Two hearts miss a beat
Feet like tenderized meat
Each carefully conceal
What they feel
For Time and tradition,
Had their stations sealed.
A Prince and warrior was He
His Maid in attendance, was She.

Their Love though, was old,
To the other, they never told
To the frontline he was to go
"Should I tell her, before I meet my foe?"
He ponders as she helps him put his armour
To the frontline he must leave
"Should I tell him, so he returns to me?"
Both silently standing their place
Hearts engaged in a tempestous race.

Done with the armour, she looks up
At the face she has come to love,
Quietly meeting his searching eyes
Both feeling as if pregnant
With words that have no vent
She then smiles as she says
"My Lord, May you be victorious"
He smiles back with a nod
Quietly making an unspoken vow
"I will return to claim you for my own".

She watches him as he leaves
Glancing at his back,
As he climbs on his horse
Praying for his safe return,
Hoping he'll be hers one day.

Creative Challenge Tour Through Here

Creative Challenge 19 : Beyond the Horizon

Refugee

Its a long walk to the border
Little tired legs swing
As she rides the strong shoulder
"Daddy, how much farther?"
"Just beyond that Hill" says the Man.

"How many times is that?" the Man wonders
In this long journey to the no man's land
Fear hides behind these mundane words
"Just a little further",
"Beyond that tree",
"Beyond that river",
"Across that valley",
"Just another day's walk"
"Just... just... just"
Knowing full well,
Just Beyond the Horizon
Is the great Unknown
Yet he walks,
Gathering  hope,
Picking up courage,
Building faith within,
Just so,
His daughter may live,
Without the scars of war.

Creative Challenge Tour Through Here

TTT- Ten thought Tuesday

I am Home and Bored, though I have a To do list.  So here I am doing the TTT that I have seen a few of my friends do.

1. Its the third week of school for the kids... I actually like the quiet house and the fact that it stays clean, until they come home.  
2. I went to the volunteer orientation at the kid's school today,  I dont have anyone's names attached to their faces. Had a mug shot taken, guess now I am on the "wanted" list. 
3. My husband's got a new Concubine(his new laptop). So for the past week, he is Absently Present.
4. The sun is shining, and my plants are huffing/puffing, Its around 90 degrees F(around 30 C). Should water them as soon as the deck gets some shade.
5. I should weed the lawn, Crab Grass has taken over our lawn. Got some bulbs yesterday, have to find a place for them.
6. I am annoyed at the backyard squirrel family that digs up the soil in my planters..GRRRRRR.
7.The African voilets have bloomed for the 4th time since spring, I must be doing something right, now if I could just figure out what it is.
8. I hate reading the news, absolutely nothing on it can make me smile.  Money market is down, housing is down, unemployment is rising, not one day goes without news of some criminal activity somewhere in the city.  To top it all, Rice imports from India are down, so I have to settle for jasmine rice from Thailand(arent I the ingrate? at least I can buy rice).
9. I havent written anything that I can say is "good work" in about a month, guess my brain has died.  Been very confused, lost in dreamworld or overwhelmed with paper... Did I tell you I am a paper magnet.  Everything thats on post its and loose sheets somehow finds me for home.
10. My Friend had her second child, a girl, I started an afghan for the baby and now I feel like by the time I finish, the baby will be too old for it....Genie, where are you, my love?

The Rant of the Unseen.

You look at me, but you dont see me.
If you did, you would see,  what I see in you. 
How I admire your independence, your perseverence, your willingness to go all the way to protect the ones you love.
If you really see,  You wouldnt say those words that you know cuts deep in me, leaving a gaping wound that never heals.  You would see the lead box in which I keep my love for you.  You would know when I needed your kindness. You would know that I dont need a hand out but a hand Up once in a great while.   You would know I dont lie, I tell you I cant tell you the truth.  You would know the place, space and emotions that others hold in my heart. 
If you really saw me, you would not question my loyalty.  You would see I dont take whats forcibly given or you felt obligated to give.  You would know, I treasure the time I spend with you, the one on one, when you are you and I am I, plain and simple, without the trimmings, sashes, perfume and bandanas.  You would see the effect of those quiet whispers, the bantering, the hand in the small of my back.  If you really saw me, You would know My home, is You.

Arranged Marriage - Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni.

Eleven stories... wade through the immigrant Indian Woman's experiences in coming to her own terms with the cultural intricacies within Marriage as defined, ordained and lived by most in the Indian population.  Although most everything she has written is something I know happens, making me nod my head in agreement, I enjoyed reading this.   It was a short read. It took me about 4 hours(surprisingly, I did the four hours in ONE day.)

Within each of the stories is a delicate world of an Indian woman, her growth within the bounds of the marriage, her hopes, dreams and expectations, her stifling and her breathing.  There are things that will always be different when we come from different worlds.  Ideas of Marriage, relationships, family and boundaries are different.  Its like learning to speak a foreign language, we might know all the sounds and the ways to communicate with those foreign words but there will always be those moments when the joke is lost on us or we don't understand the nuance of what is said or we don't really "GET" it.

"Doors" appealed to me most.  It deals with the life of a newly married couple, the bride who is brought up in the US and the Groom in India.  When they decided to marry, everyone around them saw them as ill matched, yet everything seems to work out far beyond their expectations until a friend visits to stay. It is then that the seemingly harmless habit of shutting doors takes the form of a metaphor for life. 

"The Ultrasound" deals with the difference in reality when we move from one country to another.  In the US the ultrasound is a routine event during pregnancy. In India this routine event could lead to making drastic decisions like having an abortion, should the gender turn out to be a girl.  It is one of the things in my world that makes me crave for  a ONE WORLD, ONE LAW concept, as impractical and unrealistic as the idea is.

"The Affair" appealed to me for the dramatic way in which an observer's life is changed when she views her best friends Affair.   From being the conservative,obscure person, she goes on to making a bold decision of walking out of the marriage that was unsatisfying to her.

Each story is somewhat tragic if we focus on the events but within that tragedy, there is a renewal, hope and walking into the unknown.  Somehow that makes it real, the fact that life is mostly structured like our chromosomes - one strand each of tragedy and comedy. There are what are norms within Indian Behaviour that are either embraced, rejected or reconciled with. The thing that touched me is the fact that each of those women despite their situation, rise above it, look forward to life as it is.

If you like a view into the immigrant's experience in coming to terms with what they were brought up with and what they see for themselves, this is a nice read.