That kind of day

Its that kind of day

When life goes its own way

The Coffee had salt

I swear, it wasnt my fault

The knife fell on its tip

And my toe it did nip.

Hot oil flew out of the wok

Burning a hole in my sock

Dinner was charred

Shiny utensils, marred.

My brain took a walk

Lost its way back to the skull dock.

Its been that kind of day

I hunker and hope it doesnt stay.

Laughter - Letter from Mom

Santa and Banta jokes are the most commonly told jokes in India.  Every community of people in India are teased and joked about for some reason or other.  When the joke has characters from India and any other nation, we always make ourselves somehow superior to the others.  Which is sort of hypocritical when we've been making our own people the butt of jokes.  This particular one is poking fun at the Sikhs/Punjabi people.  A Mothers letter to her son. This is originally in Punjabi language...Enjoy

Dear Banta
Vahe Guru ! (salutations to the Guru)

I am in a well here and hoping you are in the same well there. I'm writing this letter slowly, because I know you cannot read fast.

We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen 20 miles from home, so we moved 20 miles.

I wont be able to send the address as the last Sardar who stayed here took the house numbers with them for their new house so they would not have to change their address. Hopefully by next week we will be able to bring our earlier address plate here, so that our address will remain same too.

This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine, situated right above the commode. I'm not sure it works. Last week I put in 3 shirts, pulled the chain and haven't seen them since.

The weather here isn't too bad. It rained only twice last week. The first time it rained for 3 days and second time for 4 days.

The coat you wanted me to send you, your Aunt said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with all the metal buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pocket.

Your father has another job. He has 500 men under him. He is cutting the grass at the cemetery.

By the way I took Bahu(daughter-in-law) to our club's poolside. The manager is really badmash(a rascal). He told her that two-piece swimming suit is not allowed in this club. We were confused as to which piece should we remove?

Your sister had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether it is a girl or a boy, so I don't know whether you are an Aunt or Uncle.

Your uncle, Jetinder, fell in a nearby well. Some men tried to pull him out, but he fought them off bravely and drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days.

Your best friend, Balwinder, is no more. He died trying to fulfill his father's last wishes. His father had wished to be buried at sea after he died. And your friend died while in the process of digging a grave for his father.

There isn't much more news this time. Nothing much has happened.

P.S: I was going to send you some money but by the time I realized, I had already sealed off this letter.

Why women envy Men.

A blogmate of mine, Momofrs, on Wordpress had this on her blog.  Here is the Link to her blog. Click on the Tag Humour. I thought it was hilarious.  I dont agree of a few of them.. but it was still hilarious.

Why women envy Men :

1. Your last name stays put.
2. The garage is all yours.
3. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
4. Chocolate is just another snack.
5. You can be President.
6. You can never be pregnant.
7. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
8. You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
9. Car mechanics tell you the truth.
10. The world is your urinal..
11. You never have to drive to another service station restroom because this one is just too icky.
12. You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
13. Same work, more pay.
14. Wrinkles add character.
15. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$200.
16. People never stare at your chest when you’re talking to them.
17. New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
18. One mood all the time.
19. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
20. You know stuff about tanks.
21. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
22. You can open all your own jars.
23. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
24. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
25. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
26. You almost never have strap problems in public.
27. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
28. Everything on your face stays its original colour..
29. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
30. You only have to shave your face and neck.
31. You can play with toys all your life.
32. One wallet and one pair of shoes ? one colour for all seasons.
33. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
34. You can ‘do’ your nails with a pocket knife.
35. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

Now for the Benefits of Being a Woman according to Momofrs:

• - We got off the Titanic first.
• - We get to flirt with IT support guys (who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers).
• - Our boyfriend’s clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.
• - We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
• - We can cry and get off speeding fines.
• - We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.
• - Taxis stop for us.
• - Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.
• - We don’t look like a frog in a blender when dancing. (not true according to me)
• - Free drinks, free dinners, free movies….you get the drift.
• - We can hug our friends without wondering if they’re gay.
• - We can hug our friends without wondering if WE’RE gay.
• - If we’re not making enough money we can blame the glass ceiling.
• - We don’t have to fart to amuse ourselves.
• - We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her butt.
• - If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.
• - We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
• - If we’re dumb, some people will find it cute. (I dont agree with this)
• - We have the ability to dress ourselves…AND our Men.
• - We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
• - There are times when chocolate really solves all our problems.
• - We’ll never regret piercing our ears.
• - We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.
• - We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.
  

Have a wonderful Thursday! 

Peace
Rashmi