I think this is going to be a ramble not just one line thoughts so please bear with me...Oh just so you know my definition of Rambling - thoughts that dont have a clue of context or of grammar.
I got a late birthday gift from my husband - a single cup Keurig coffee maker... Just when I was thinking of cutting down 1 cup/day to 1/2 cup.. Oy!! Is that the universe telling me its not an addiction(dont I wish). I couldnt just be grateful, content he got me a gift and enjoy it, now, could I?
My son told me that Manatees are Fat cause they hold their breath too long under the water *giggling* I like his logic. Looks like he takes after me- in the ruminating the thoughts, being absent-minded and say something completely out of context, like that statement he made as he was getting dressed to school.
Most people in my immediate circle know me be an opinionated chatter-box, the others know me to be reserved. But its the heights of irony that I can never say what I feel when it comes to the ones I really care about in my life. Why is it so difficult to say whats in your heart to the ones closest to you? I wish I could be sure I wouldnt regret it after I say it. Growing up, sucks, too many parameters to consider before saying something and too Big an Ego to let go of tresspasses. Hmm... I have to learn to detach from the result, I am so result oriented. (Note to self : Remember the quote from the Bhagawadgita 2:47 : "karmanye vadhika raste,ma phaleshu kadachana, ma karma phala hetu bhurba te sangostav karmani" - your right is to work only, not to the fruits thereof. Be not instrumental in making your actions bear fruit, nor let your attachment be to inaction)
I managed to stay on track with Pranayama, this week too. I also managed to stymie my wanting to snack between lunch and dinner. I managed a routine too(oh!! the wonders never cease) But I am afraid to feel proud of myself. I do have a tendency to give up stuff that I know is good for me or gives me joy, when I get pressed for time or energy. Somehow, I, and what I want, dont seem to be a priority for me. But this is a step in that direction.
The weather has become chilly since yesterday...its 47 F right now, I had to get my pullover out. I am greedy for the sun. I dont mind the clouds or rains as long as the sun comes out for at least 4 hours, is that too much to ask? Guess I need to go with the flow.
I have chillies on my plant Yay!! not too many, but its thai chili and it is HOT!! Next year, I am going to take steps to being the farmer more than a planter queen, and hopefully have a vegetable patch. Who knows I might make a good farmer. :P
I have to re-organize the paper lot that I attract... and its only the fourth week of school. I have to get myself a new puter too(oh why couldnt it be a puter instead of a coffee maker? of course the logic is simple, its pure economics :P), this one is beginning to show its age(its slowing down).
I am reading "The law of attraction" by Ester and Jerry Hicks. Though it is old knowledge in a new gift wrapper, theres stuff I need to chew, digest, apply and see if it holds for my life....so I am in mode experiment, which sort of helps the fact that I am trying to prioritize and organize my time and life.
Still miss the Henry Kissinger of my life(my mother). I have to learn to talk to my dad without unsheathing the sword in my words. We do great when it comes to doing crossword puzzles, math problems and brain teasers together or playing badminton or cricket on the street(we used to do that when I was a kid) but we are both lousy when it comes to talking to each other about stuff that really matters. And right now, we do need to TALK and LISTEN. I need to bring out the Stranger in me instead of the Daughter in me when I talk to him so I dont feel what I feel. (Note to self : Please remember to have some good sense while talking to Dad).
I have a lot of birthday notes/cards/wishes to send out this month. I have a lot of Librans in my life.. does that imply Balance? I hope it does.
Have a wonderful Week!
Peace
Rashmi.
4 comments:
****Just when I was thinking of cutting down 1 cup/day to 1/2 cup.. Oy!! Is that the universe telling me its not an addiction(dont I wish). I couldnt just be grateful, content he got me a gift and enjoy it, now, could I?
>>>In my book .. that one cup of coffee isn't so bad as one would believe.. Go ahead, enjoy the one cup.. Let it all hang out..(Maybe your hubby was trying to tell you this, too.. in his own way)
****Looks like he takes after me- in the ruminating the thoughts, being absent-minded and say something completely out of context, like that statement he made as he was getting dressed to school.
>>> I belong to the local chapter of that club..lol
****(Note to self : Remember the quote from the Bhagawadgita 2:47 : "karmanye vadhika raste,ma phaleshu kadachana, ma karma phala hetu bhurba te sangostav karmani" - your right is to work only, not to the fruits thereof. Be not instrumental in making your actions bear fruit, nor let your attachment be to inaction)
>>>Attachment to inaction ? Inaction meaning afraid to speak your true self ? Nothing can bear fruit without first planting the seeds. You want to be a farmer? Don't be afraid to plant things.. even if your space might fear overgrowth... You are the farmer.. plant at will.. with forethought, but not fear...I am sure the garden will spring many surprises of wonderful fruits, and everyone will reap the benefits as Mother Nature culls through efficient planting.
****I am reading "The law of attraction" by Ester and Jerry Hicks. Though it is old knowledge in a new gift wrapper, theres stuff I need to chew, digest, apply and see if it holds for my life....so I am in mode experiment, which sort of helps the fact that I am trying to prioritize and organize my time and life.
>>>>Lovely to see the cuccoon emerging from its resting, albiet productive, metamorphosis...I welcome the butterfly to its new adventures...and anxious to see what flight pattern this butterfly chooses....I know it will be to a butterflies taste... Butterflies add nothing but beauty to their spaces.. however fleeting the moment they choose to spend in any one place.
*****we are both lousy when it comes to talking to each other about stuff that really matters. And right now, we do need to TALK and LISTEN. I need to bring out the Stranger in me instead of the Daughter in me when I talk to him so I dont feel what I feel. (Note to self : Please remember to have some good sense while talking to Dad).
****I know this one...as I cared for my own father the last years...What I realized was that he admired me, needed me, and when I finally put my foot down as to how he treated me.. with honest words written in a letter.. our relationship blossomed and was quite enjoyable .. But not until I had the courage to state what it was I needed... and that it was all or nothing.. cause I was truly done with being a second class member of his consciousness, and I let him know it.
****I have a lot of birthday notes/cards/wishes to send out this month. I have a lot of Librans in my life.. does that imply Balance? I hope it does.
>>>>Then we are both balancing..lol .. My first hubby Sept 24th, two sons, the 26th, my mother the 29th..my sister the 5th....Libra must be our counterbalance , eh ?
Very nice. :)
I love the sun too and no, its not too much to ask..4 hrs a day seems reasonable! :P
Hugs..
Sending you sisterly love, my dear.
Seems to me that you are 'punishing' yourself for wanting this and that and always try to discipline yourself..:) Ease up, dont be so hard on yourself..
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