Random Rambling - Feminism, terrorism, annoyances etc.
There are some people or situations in life that make me regress into my past. I studied in an All Girls College. Most Girls were from very traditional families. Most there for their ticket to marriage. The Bridegroom market was filled with demanding Men, they want a girl with a degree so that she could work to bring in the extra income, so you had to make yourself saleable(yeah I am cynical). Its not an unreasonable demand, you could either ask for an unreasonable amount of dowry(no, I am not saying every Man asks for it.. but its a prevailing pattern in our society) where the materials gained would become old fashioned in a decade or you could have a working woman which will bring in a steady trickle of money that will move with the ebb and flow of inflation and never be outdated.
We had a very strict Lecturer for Botany, she was a kind but very Firm teacher, knew her subject well, and she knew her job well, she wouldnt tolerate nonsense from her students. Submitted work had to be of impeccable quality else we will end up redoing or losing marks. Once after a test, she was really disappointed with the overall performance of our class and she let us know. We got a Verbal Lashing from her. She didnt pick anyone in particular, for which I was glad. She didnt say anything that wasnt the truth for which I am thankful but(yes, there's always a but in my thoughts) I couldnt agree with her thoughts completely at that time. I never voiced my opinion for such things werent Done in my time.
She said that we were such a blessed group of girls to have the opportunity to go to college. That we ought to be grateful to our parents for it. She felt that most of us were there to "pass time" till we get married, that we were wasting the opportunity someone more interested in a career would want. The competition for a seat in the college was really high. That in a world where women had to fight for equal rights within careers and families, we were the women who brought their work to naught. That if all we intended was to get married and become mothers, we didnt need to get to college for that. I agreed with most of her statements but I couldnt agree with the concept of feminism or that getting married and having kids means we dont need an education. I felt even if the girls there didnt make careers out of the subject, having an educated Mother was a blessing for the future generations. For it is a Mother who is a child's first teacher. I felt any "Ism" taken to an extreme would bring results that arent conducive to growth, its like watering a plant too much- the roots will rot. I felt that while feminism was good to a certain degree it did have the not so desirable repercussions. That it wasnt so much wanting to be equal with a Man(which will never happen given our biological/emotional make up, we will always remain Complementary never Equal) as it was to have the CHOICE of taking paths which lead to our empowerment, being able to work in the field of our choosing without being discriminated...Just wearing a trouser doesnt make us equal. What would make us Equal would be-- same pay-scale for the same jobs(which still doesnt happen in 3/4th of the worlds workforce), being able to take over each others reproductive functions(which could happen given the leaps in technology but will remain an oddity) etc.
Why am I writing this? Cause a while ago I had this conversation - "Are you working?" Me- "No" them -"Oh! but dont you think its a waste of your education to not be using it to Work and bring in good money?" Me - "I suppose." I didnt want to go into the lengthy explanation/defense/justification of why it doesnt work for me within the bounds of what I want for my family.
Most everything in life has a pattern. I guess having a pattern makes it easy, to get through our day. I am fine with most patterns, but there are patterns that make me really annoyed. One of them is the way India deals with terrorism. There isnt any pro-active system in place to check terrorists inspite of wallowing in the problem for 61 years.
I came back from a vacation to news about a series of Bomb Blasts in Bangalore, the place of my birth and at Ahmedabad in the state of Gujarat, killing about 45 people and wounding about 161. Ok, this isnt the first time this has happened, its not the first time a minuscule amount is killed(sarcasm intended). Amazing! they dont have an exact count of anything do they, the counts are prefixed with "about". I was apathetically annoyed as usual, until I read the name of the group that claimed responsibility for the 16 serial blasts in Ahmedabad and 7 in Bangalore called themselves INDIAN Mujahideen. Yes, in this particular instance, I stand in objection, I was appalled at the word "Indian" associated with "Mujahideen".. How can anyone who wants to destroy their own home be part of the same family.. NO WAY!! If you call yourself Indian then you would work FOR India not Against her. In a Macro-view when you say you are a particular National then it is same as saying you belong to a particular family, in the micro-view. Just like how you wouldnt work to destroy your Home and Hearth, you wouldnt want to destroy the building of your Nation with Bomb Blasts aimed at terrorizing the population and destroying what already Stands and works for you. Definitely, there are other ways to get what you want without the mayhem and killing sprees. Call yourselves what ever you wish but DO NOT associate yourselves with the word INDIAN cause what you are doing is totally against the very Idea of Indian. You arent Indians. You can never grasp the essence of what INDIAN is. Yes, I do take it upon myself to define what an Indian is for its a privilege I have been bestowed at my birth. In my definition an Indian most always, is associated with the concept of putting the Nation above religious ties, Live and let Live and of Non-violence. We wouldnt have had a Working Democracy if it wasnt for those principles. hmm.. did I go overboard with my emotions?
Yes, I am angry. No, scratch that, Actually I am sad, that the place where I was born is being smeared with such nonsense. I fear that its being transformed into something I may not recognize when I go back(I know thats such a selfish wish), that I will probably become a stranger in my own home. I have seen it peaceful, calm and hospitable, as a garden city, as a place for families to live, grow and be happy. I also feel hopeless, cause I know that terrorism cant be solved unless we as a people take a route that is against our principle of Live and Let Live. We might in the future, have to stop praising India as a Secular Nation, cause you cant have Secularism when every deed and law within the nation revolves around the religious affiliation of its people, either to appease the Minority for votes or get the money of the majority for the running of the government.
This is long, will stop for now.
Retreating back to my quiet corner
Rashmi.
6 comments:
I hope your famly and friends are OK, Rashmi. That is a good point about the Indian Mujaheddin. I suppose they're trying to frighten the government and give themselves some sort of legitimacy and respectability. I agree with you about the education thing: everyone should have the oportunity to have one, what they then decide to do with their lives afterwards is a matter of personal choice.
Why not feel equal to a man...? I am afraid I don't understand the statement "we will always remain Complementary, never equal" I feel equality is the removal of all identifying factors referring to gender.... That two pieces of paper describing two applicants .. should have only pertinent information... that of experience and availability... anything else is subject to prejudicial decision making. That makes both men and women equal ... it's up to the woman to decide her own capabilities and streengths and with common sense decide what is in her best interest and not what a male mentality would deem appropriate.
Equality would mean same treatment given all Factors..not treatment based on removal of identifying factors. The Practicality of life is such that a woman in the workforce does end up taking off when children or family are sick or maternity leave therefore will have a gap in her path of career due to reasons that are because she is undeniably a Woman. Employers are primarily businessmen who want profits and therefore will maximize their workforce, a woman is a dent in the term of Maximizing unless she decides to have a career at the expense of family/nurturing. Yes, things are changing and men are becoming Househusbands but that is not the trend in ALL our world, just some parts. Not all women can make the choice of not having a family, therefore we will remain unequal. But we are complimentary cause there is a symbiosis(yes we can completely deny its existence to fit with our world view) between a Man and Woman in the life of a human, we can change it but it does come with its own set of pros and cons.
The fact that the mention of gender does infuse prejudicial decision making, makes the process a discrimination therefore not Equal.
Imho, its not about the Male mentality, its how the reality is. I have seen women who regret the decision of not having kids and family in pursuit of their career and I have seen women who regret the decision to have the family at the expense of their career. I have seen the ones who seemingly have everything-family as well as a Job/career feel that their decisions have affected the way their kids are brought up... so there are all kinds of issues related to being a Woman. Its partly cultural, partly natural but it is there. So we arent equal, we will never be. We can decide whats in our best interest but that still does not mean MAN = WOMAN. We have our way of doing things and they have theirs, together we can balance things in life but we cant be equal as equality is defined.
I can be such a pollyanna... You have so many truths that I have never really been exposed to, let alone experienced. It's easy for me to say in idyllic terms what would be the best of all possible worlds.... but it's obvious the logistics are overwhelming.... Maybe someday .....but .in the meantime.. I will be less judgemental ...and idealistic...But as in the movie "Pay It Forward".... I shall put that thought out there ...that one day equality will live up to its true definition
I understand your points clearly Rashmi in both the part about women and schooling and also the part about terrorism.
Women must have the opportunity to choose for themselves about their own education, marriage or not, career and child bearing. When with a partner or husband the decisions would always be best if they were on mutual terms. So ultimately, although we share our decision with our significant other, the choice must always lie with the woman herself, about how she sees her future in the areas discussed above and bearing in mind also that She can always exercise her right to change her own mind like any man can do as well. That is how I see it although I understand it is not usually this way..Yet!
I am so sorry to hear about the terrorism yet again in India and they the terrorists belong in no mans land with such blatant disregard for their fellow man. There is no glory in these actions as they are the work of God's lost children.
Sorry about what happened in Bangalore, sweetie! I hope all of your's are okay! So sad that this things happen!
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