My Grandmother

My maternal grandmother holding my daughter when she was 5 months old.

Of all my grandparents, my maternal grandmother was someone I admired. She had this quality of being very down to earth and very stoic. She is the shortest person in our family at 4 and a 1/2 feet tall but to me, she was taller than the Tallest. She carried herself like a queen and I would label her the Strongest in our family. She belonged to the pre-independence era generation. They are the ones who knew how to bow to authority while still doing the things they wanted to do. Yes! theres always some loophole in a law if it is a matter of survival. Which is why a Good administrator is he who is wise enough to not corner the people they rule. She was a primary(elementary) school drop-out, the reason being they had to walk to school for about 10 or 15 miles each way in the rain or sun and be there to help their family during sowing and harvesting seasons and not having money to pay the fee. But she knew how to read and write. So she read everything from the local newspapers to the Epics Ramayana and Mahabharata, if she couldnt find books, she listened to the Radio(that huge box kind with a lot of static every now and then). When I was old enough, being the city kid, I began to see the harshness of her life everytime I went during vacation. I silently admired her, for you see, the time I was a kid, we were seen, never heard. Kids today will never understand what being able to be silent means (just a touch of envy)

Being a Farmer, means having to delete the word REST from the dictionary of life and not worry about Money, cause it was always scarce. So there were always creative ways to make money. Sell someone the embroidery you made, the flowers you grew, some of the pickle you made or the wine you made, or the honey you collected from your apiary, theres always enough money to be found if you look for it. Her idea of life was - Ok theres work to do, so do it. Everything that we take for granted today, like water running in our faucets, electricity, flushable toilets, washing machines, dishwashers, airconditioners, were non-existent to her. Everyday life then, required immense physical and mental strength than what we can boast of today. After all when we are tired its not our bodies that tire first, its the mind that decides to give up.

Both my grandmoms were pro at time management. It was clothes washing and gardening that alternated each day during spring and summer. It was clothes washing and pickling for a week during fall and then watching over the curing of meat for the winter(it is a community event). At least four or five families get together to salt and dry the meat for storage. Various other chores - like harvesting, threshing and seiving the paddy were all community events...families got together to get these done jointly. Inspite of their seemingly busy lives, both always had time to listen to the ones that needed listening to. They formed a part of the Confidant's Club(yes I made that name up).

Her day used to start at about 4 in the morning with a quick bath, light the lamp at the family shrine, offer prayers. Then off to the kitchen she would start the day with the agni pooja(fire worship) at the hearth. Then have a huge pot of fodder for the pigs and water boiling while she went to milk the buffalos. Once back she would boil the milk and allow some to spill as that is the offering to the Fire God. She would go to the well about 1/2 mile from the house to get water for the day, which means carrying one pot on the head and the other at the waist and walking 1 mile for water(yes its better than 10 miles thank god!). After that, she would start making breakfast for the labourers and the people in the house so that they all have breakfast by 6 before they head out to the fields. Then the buffalos are let out, the pigs are fed and let out, the ducks and chickens are fed and let out, the dogs and cats are fed too. One of the labourers would stay and wash all the utensils before they head out to the fields. The only down time she used to have was soon after lunch about 1 pm till about 3 pm during which time she would attend to the vegetable and herb garden in the backyard or sit at the mill making rice powder for the month or make pickles or maybe sew the clothes that needed repair. She remembered every job that there was to do without having the elaborate lists that I have today. During the Coffee picking time, she would cook lunch too, early in the morning, so that she can also pick coffee along with the labourers. That way there are more hands at the job. The family usually had dinner between 7 and 8 pm. The perks of not having electricity meant you will be done with your day quicker. So everyone went to bed by about 9-10 pm. Not once have I heard her complain, she did the work joyfully, and if she fell ill, she would still drag herself out of bed and see that all the animals and people were fed. She took her job as the nourisher of the family seriously.

Its about 4 years since she passed away. If I could be half as good as my grandmother, I would think of myself as a very successful person. I love my luxuries, but I hope that if I had to do without them, I would remember not to complain but to go with the flow. Being Stoic is something I want to be, if only I could figure out how to tolerate pain with sealed lips. Maybe Superglue would help?