In your long absence,
I kept my silence.
We meet again,
In emotional drought
Each in pain,
Playing our station's part
You asked me "Did you think of me?".
I said I didnt,
And Watch you walk away, hurt.
I hurt too, but was glad,
For if you stayed and asked,
Why I didnt think of you.
I would have told you
"If I did, I cant stop with mere thinking,
I will want to
talk to you,
see you,
hold you
and be with you."
If you listened to that
And stayed by me
It will be difficult for you.
If you left,
It will be difficult for me
So, I let myself be Silent.
20 comments:
Sighhhhh...no matter it is difficult either way...
The questions posed ..When do we leave off taking care of another's feelings ? Is honesty so wrenchingly accountable? Is Love always so sacrificially benevolent? Is the unrequited in reality satisfied? ...so many questions.. in the name of Love.
Mostly it is...I look around at people(not all) who dont fall in the Box labeled Successful and realize, they have trouble Lying or twisting the truth to their advantage...
As for Love, its a whole other animal. We can have it or not have it, either way there will be some dissatisfaction along the way. I think its because we are changing all the time but have very little acceptance for that change...I am not sure, just theorizing. I dont really understand the way love works between adults.
I feel the word Love is such a misunderstood aspect of Being... We humans seem to overload it with expectations..as if we know what the word means.. and feel unfairly misunderstood when our particular version of the word is perceived as selfish or wanting in some way. I am reading of the dualities of Love in the truest sense... that until we can meet our "other" self face to face and know that it is us .. and that we have been searching for this match up since our time here began , that we will not know what the word Love really means.
I see the dualties, but I cant work it out with words...It works out in my silence.
I suppose I can argue the point of understanding the dualities and the imposed silence as a comfort...But to say "We can have Love or not have it", this is somewhat of an impass for me...as my thoughts encompass an idea the Love simply is... it isn't a matter of owning it, or leaving it...It simply is... anything else is condition upon condition and is only relevant through expectation... which certainly is not Love in the truest sense.
:) Love in its truest definition just IS. No conditions, no judgements, no duality. Yes!
In this context I am talking about perception which rules our life an humans..How many of us can actually relate to the Idea that Love just IS in our everyday life at every moment, that its not about having it or not having it?
Yes..No condition , no judgements.. but in understanding that duality is the most important aspect of Love that we leave out.. when we do not recognize in ourselves that it is the refusal to accept all that we are, and that what we find most abhorrant in ourselves mirrors the discordance of relationships.. In other words.. this is the "Gold Ring".. the "Prize".. the realization that when we become One with ourselves, we become One with ALL..and this is where the confusion happens. As some search forever for their Soulmate... That soulmate is the yin to our yang.. and the Yang to our Yin .. within our own soul makeup.. and truly our own SELF en toto...
The deception lies in the "having and not having".. Ownership is the Ego speaking ...
Yes it is. The Ego is something we cant deny. It exists, it cannot be crushed, it cannot be removed, it just wont go away quietly. So we learn to manage it - benevolence, mercy, sacrifice, forgiveness, hope, grace, charity etc.. are some of the ways to temper, manage and cope with our egos. Those things arent as Noble as we make them out to be, they are just methods to manage our lives in awareness.
I have a long way to get there.. I have glimpsed them once in a while and been greedy too, cause I wish to hold that glimpse always and that has not been so.
I think we are seeing Love manifest in Egypt right now.. It is a magnificent moment in the history of humanity... When a protester defends himself and takes the metal baton away from the police who tried to beat him and says " We are all on the same side.. the side of Egypt" and hands back the baton .. this is Love.
I don't think you are so far away, Rashmi...I think you are grappling with ideas that have grown old and tired..and more to the point .. you question identity... IMO
I wonder why its just within those imaginary lines drawn around Egypt or any other place. I want such things to happen anywhere, anyplace with all people...I will wait, it has to pass if I want it so badly right? *giggling*
erase the lines...replace the 'wants' with ''' It is so" ... allow the thoughts to be gifts of what is , instead of what is 'hoped' to be... This aligns with the people of Egypt... They believe .. and so do I.. that it is just a matter of time... and such is so around the world.. It is just a matter of time.. I do not "hope" so.. I KNOW so.
I let myself be silent sometimes...believe it or not I can do it :P
all kidding aside Rashmi I love the emotions displayed here
I think silence speaks loudly, at times.
Lots of great thoughts in your words and in the comments. I do believe love just "is" and that when it gets entangled with expectations a bit ole' knot develops that is not always so easily untied.
I was never really into Freud,, but his concept of ego made sense. It was reality based. In his theory, it is the superego that bites us in the arse and we end up creating one defense mechanism after another, all of which, in my opinion, impede the development of love.
Thank you Danette. LOL @ believe it or not I can do it :P. I feel you know it well.
I think so too...I like to say that the Silence Screams and it cant be unheard.
I havent read much of Freud except for the very basic stuff...The Ego I was talking of is the way Ego is defined within Hinduism. Its usual translation is the I-ness. Some translate it as Pride or the sense of Ownership and Control. When "I" am the center of the universe, there is no place for another to be a part of my being, resulting in a lack/deprivation of Love.
So true. As much as I like to think it is all about me at times, it never really is ;).
Silence implies self-discipline. It has dignity.
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