Youth: the things I dont miss.

Here I am sitting and reminiscing times in the past. It seems to be an appropriate pastime at the present moment, as I recently reconnected and talked to a  couple of friends from school.  We had lots of things we missed but there were also things that we didn’t miss. Being in the latter half of thirty, we felt nostalgic about the earlier decade.  While there is a lot of things I love about being the age I am right now, there are days I miss my Youth, being 18 something, without much care for the world except in terms of how it affects me, seems so very attractive.  As Usual, I couldn’t be in that sort of mind frame for long, I had to dig out the things I absolutely hated about those by-gone years.

 

I loved the ambiance of our college. It was mostly in a constant state of activity, with the library being the anchor for grounding and quietness. There were always classes to get to and get through. There were movies for which we cut classes and lab work to make up.  There were teachers we loved and those we wished we didn’t have.  And then there were exams, the one thing that sucked the joy out of me.  I loved learning but I despised the regurgitation of what was learned, the inevitable process of examinations.  But it was better than the other option- getting married.

 

It was a given at the time, that the girls from conservative families, will marry while in college. Most were happy to exchange education for being someone’s wife. The last year of college, was also the time when pressure from the elders, to get married, begins.  It was the time for “Groom shopping”.  I watched as some girls, drop off from classes to get married.  We had some really wonderful narrations of the “Groom Shopping” experiences at college recess.  My parents were kind; they waited till I finished college to talk of my wedding. I married after I was considered “too old” for the groom shopping fiestas. I married someone I knew well, so I didn’t have to go through the anxiety and the awkwardness of meeting a stranger. I sometimes wonder how life would have been if I married a stranger I just met.  Of course, it’s not a “What if?” that I want to explore.  I know it must seem strange for me to say such a thing, especially considering the culture I was brought up in.  But stranger things have happened.

 

Speaking of strange things, college days were famous for “Eve teasing”.  It’s a typical Indian term for the wolf whistles, lewd comments and harassment that the boys mete out for the girls in the age group of 14-married. It didn't matter how the girl looked, being a girl was the only criterion.  There was no remedy for this other than ignoring. There are laws against eve teasing but it was just a slap on the wrist. After 24 hours of jail time the Idiots were back on the streets.  Controlling my temper was something I had to learn quick, if I intended surviving for long. And learning to live within my own mind was a blessing.   I would tune out. I never hear anything. I learned to take a different route home, just to be safe. 

 

College life was fun, but getting to college was not fun. We lived in the suburbs and, at that time, public transport was not efficient. There were very few buses on my college route.  Everyday I would spend anywhere from 2-3 hours waiting for a bus. Some days I would get so frustrated with the wait that I would walk home from college. It was a ninety minutes walk. Now although I am glad that I used to get exercise without actually thinking about it, I don’t miss the wait for the transport.

 

I was introduced to Computers at college. We had about 10 computers, the majority of which were 386’s and we had 2 fastest computers of the era - the 486DX. We worked on DOS and used the 5 1/4 inch floppy disks to store our data. We used to consider ourselves very lucky to be able to work with a 486.  After using today’s faster computers, the 486 would be something I wouldn’t miss. I will be glad to see it in a museum though, bringing me fond memories.

 

Among all the things that annoys me, noise takes the upper berth. I couldn’t stand noise(even today) after a certain level or after some amount of time.  My Nemesis was my brother for he and I had conflicting tastes when it comes to listening to music. I liked listening within the normal hearing range but my sibling had to listen to it at the highest volume there was. It always felt like the roof would collapse every time he turned the music on. Most days, we had verbal arguments over the volume of the music.  Finally, I figured that there was just no point trying to get through to a deaf person.  So I used take my books and go to the terrace, where I studied or just read or sometimes sketched, staying till my brother decided to turn down the volume or left the house to attend to his chores.  

 

Our home was a hub of activity most days of the year.  Most every other month, we would have these elaborate dinners with all of our families or friends or colleagues of my parents.  There was always great food, my mom and aunts were really good cooks. It used to be a great time when my cousins came; we used to love the talking and playing.  But it used to get out of hand when we had anyone who was totally drunk.  I hated drinks and cigarettes being served in the house. The Men had nothing to talk about until a few pegs make its way into their system. After that, inhibitions were down; talk abundance, mostly repeating the same stuff or something totally irrelevant to the previous line of conversation.  I have had the most laughs, listening in on such conversations(yes, I was a wicked child, I eavesdropped :P) or watching the blunders in their motor skills.

 

One of my uncles was a chain smoker. I particularly hated his visits to the house. I loved him, for he was a gem of a person but every time he came home I used to end up with stuffed, runny nose and head aches from the tobacco smoke. Of course being the child of the house, it would be considered disrespect and arrogance if I said “why do you drink till the point of drunkenness or why don’t you smoke outside the house”.  So I learned to pick my battles.  I learned to stay out of the way of the elders, when my cousins weren’t there. 

 

I think as I grow older, there will be a more things that I will not miss, and those that I will miss from the earlier years.  I hope to never dwell too much on either issue.  I hope to work on being Grateful for what I have.  After all, Life is in the NOW. Hopefully I will remember that always.

 

Have a wonderful Weekend. :)