Tribute to Friends

This is my entry for Rajashree's festival of Friends.

I am the kind who is very reluctant to give a title of friend to someone unless I feel confident enough to bestow that title on them. I have some really great friends. Some of them as old as my teeth and some very new- still, walking on eggshells. A few have been lost in time but not forgotten. I wish them well always, no matter where they are- May the sun shine brightly and the rain fall softly them, so they see the rainbow they have made my life.

I think I have been very lucky when it comes to friends. I have had, what I consider very pertinent messages come through them which have changed the way I view life. I call them my visible angels. Usually they are the ones who shine light on my flaws and become safe habours when I need one. During my school days, I hardly knew what it was that made friends. Anyone who played with me was my friend. But in high school I learned that Understanding, Honesty and Trust were important ingredients in friends. Gradually the simple "you play, you my friend",  became a complex maze of qualities. In college, I learned that there was respect and boundaries with friends and that what holds for friendships holds for any relationship. For any relationship to flourish, we have to know how to be a friend. My oldest friendship, that I have still maintained is 22 years and youngest is 1 year old. I try not to make claims that this or that person is my friend. I am patient with giving this title, I usually let time tell me who my friends are.

I believe that we meet certain people when we have a need and once the need is met we move on. The universe has checks and balances system, so it gives when needed and takes away when the need is fulfilled. I also believe that Friendship, or any relationship for that matter is like holding sand in your hands- the tighter you hold it the faster it will slip out. So being possessive, clingy, self-centered, overbearing, dominating, jealous or overly dependent is not a way to be friends.. I have had a particular friend for a particular phase of my life. Although I maintained contact with most, somehow we end up being physically far apart. I have learned to cherish however little time I have with the people in my life. I miss them but I also know that they and I have already given each other what we need. So I have made it my life's policy to give something positive to who ever it is that walks into my life. From experience I have learned that distance does not come from physical distance but from the walls we create in our heads and hearts.

I don't think a page is enough to mention all my friends. They have my love and gratitude. It has been an honour to have them for friends. We have been there at different times for each other to laugh with, cry with, rave and rant with, play with and get mad with. It's a smile on their faces or the food we ate from the same plate. Its been that blunt honesty or that diplomatic guidance. Its been a hand up at a dark moment or a push down as we blew our trumpets but we were there for each other. To silently sit with each other when we didn't want to talk or to get into a chattering rampage when we felt like it.. To eat ice-cream on a rainy day or hot pakoras on a hot summer evening, to talk about our fears and know that we wont get laughed at. We talked of our frailties knowing that we wouldn't be taken advantage off. We complimented each other when we needed assurance, freely giving what was needed and could be given at the time, accepting what was given without asking for more. Friends have taught me to be their friends, they have a share in who I have become.

Thank you. You all know who you are.
As long as Forever is
Your friend
Rashmi.
P.S this song reflects the way I feel about friends

Sorry I couldnt find a translation. Will put it up when I find one.

Update - I got the song translated -

If god said to me "ask what you want to have"
I would ask for a gathering like I have today, someone to share a cup of wine, someone  to share a meal with, someone who journeys with me, someone who understands my heart. Someone awesome cause they shine like the light.
Friends are my conscience, my life
Love between close friends is the biggest Bond anyone could have Friends are my conscience, my life
Whereever the strings of the heart is strummed, there is always the tug of love.  In those whose hearts there is love, people always admire(surrender) to them.  Love brings beauty, love brings simplicity.
Friends are my conscience, my life.
If my life was lost for a friend, it isnt something I will regret.
If my friend is sad, it means I am no more alive.
Cause, where we are, in that place there Happiness dances and sings.
Friends are my conscience, my life.
Why does my flower like friend seem withered,
It does seem like he has become a victim of someone's evil eye
Nothing is hidden from me, just let me listen to you.
Tell me what does a smile from you cost(implies I am willing to pay the price whatever it is)
if you want I will bring the stars and moon from the sky
I will bring the most youthful, beautiful
Hope you enjoyed the lyrics. Some words cant be translated to give off the appropriate meanings.