A peep into Motherhood

Ever since I had kids,  I suffer from time-anemia.  There are only so many hours in a day. I am mostly pre-occupied with the things that need doing.  I am interrupted from most things I enjoy doing.  Most every activity is half done and forgotten.  I have books that I have read a few pages and haven't got back to; Music that I bought but haven't listened to; Movies that I bring to watch but never watch and when I do, I never watch a complete movie in one sitting or I have the titles and stories mixed up.  I don't remember sleeping through the night when my kids were younger, and now, I try to do the things late at night when the house, the kids and husband are in dreamland. Yes, I have a hurricane for a life. But in all this seeming chaos, I have a joy, a joy that I can't really explain.  It's like that plaque a friend of my dad's gave my dad. It reads “I actually love my life, but I like complaining more"

My kids forced me to embark on a journey of self discovery, self acceptance and self love. Children are our Godly Teachers.  In their innocence, they teach me things about life, laughter, being ever in the present.  I never saw my toddlers save for tomorrow, not toys, snacks, laughter or tears. When they give me a hug, there is so much joy in it, a sense of well being and from the heart. I was not a hugger but my kids taught me to be one. I love returning their hugs, it uplifts my spirit. Truly there is no ailment, a hug cant heal.

Children present opportunities to stop, look, breathe and take in all that is wonderful around you. The trees, sky, grass, clouds, rain, sunshine, birds, animals, rocks, moon and other sentient and non sentient beings look more vibrant when viewed through your child's eyes.  Agreed, it's hard work bringing up a child, but I feel, the rewards are worth it. They teach you things of the spirit while you teach them things of this world.  And if you look close enough and spend enough time with them, you get a glimpse into that all pervading cosmic energy and then your life is never the same

One of the greatest understandings you gain about becoming a mother is that- nothing is really in your hands. Motherhood is a lesson is giving up control. You getting pregnant, going through the whole process of holding this life within you, the time of birth and what the little life you helped bring into this world will become, is really not in your hands. Everything in our life has a reason and season. When the fruit ripens enough it will fall from the tree. The tree can't hasten the process and fruit can't kick itself to fall off from the tree...If a man plucks the fruit before it is ripe. He still can't ripen it fast enough because even that takes time...I feel, our life is like that. There isn't really anything to do, or get or become. There is only being in the moment experiencing all that life has to offer.  We can only feel honored that our children chose to come through us, and serve them along their lives journey, just as our Parents did.   Reminds me of  Khalil Gibran's poem on children :

"Your children are not your children.

They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.

They come through you but not from you,

And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts.

For they have their own thoughts.

You may house their bodies but not their souls,

For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,

Which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.

You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.

For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.

The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,

and He bends you with His might

that His arrows may go swift and far.

Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;

For even as He loves the arrow that flies,

so He loves also the bow that is stable."

P.S. It has taken me over 3 days and numerous interruptions for me to finish this entry.