I use that phrase in a lot of different ways...I thought, maybe not everyone gets my weird metaphor. So heres the story behind that phrase. India is a land where every linguistic, caste, regional group becomes the butt of a joke. The most common ones are what we call, the Surd Jokes, short for Sardarji Jokes. Sardarji is a honorific term for Sikhs. My above mentioned favorite phrase comes from this Joke.
Two Friends, Surjit Singh and Baljit Singh met at the Street Corner. Surjit notices that Baljit looked very sad,
Surjit : Why are you so sad?
Baljit : Yaar(a Hindi term for friend), I Lost Rs. 1000 in a bet yesterday.
Surjit : How come?
Baljit : I bet on the Live One Day Cricket Match between India and England and bet Rs. 500 that India would win, but I lost the bet.
Surjit: (looking puzzled) but thats only Rs. 500, what about the other Rs. 500?
Baljit: Yaar, I bet on the Highlights too. (Highlights are Re-runs, they are snippets of the Match shown later)
The first time I heard this was at college cafe, sipping one by two(its One cup of coffee that comes with an extra cup and friends share the coffee) coffee with my friends. True to my nature I liked that idea and a new phrase took form in my head "betting on the highlights".
I began to notice that the phrase was a perfect metaphor for our clinging to certain patterns in our life. We do something that has a result that clearly shows it doesnt work for us, yet we will do it again and again expecting a different result... Just like the sardarji, betting on the highlight.
The most common examples happen with the people we live with everyday or are related to somehow. And most of us will Dread family gatherings or holidays with the family. Yes, Family is important, even those extended ones. But they arent as important as our own sanity. Theres always going to be people who will do something that we dont like. Instead of "betting on the highlight" that they will change their ways, its better to change our response. Somehow we think that hoping the other will change for the better, is having faith in that person. It becomes an act of Hope, Loyalty and Solidarity to that other person. Maybe that will work with kids but I dont see it working with adults. Our Core characters are already there when we cross into our twenties and then we are pretty much immutable. Yes, that is a controversial stand to make, especially when I am not a certificate carrying expert on Human Behaviour, but that has been what I have observed. We might do things differently if we make an aware choice but mostly we follow the unconscious pattern of our behaviour and response.
Over time, I have realized, it just takes a little preparation and a huge dose of humour. Of course, I am a snob. I like to do less but watch more. I like sitting back with whatever there is to munch on or not, and watch the drama enfold, I take mental notes of funny anecdotes, happenings, hilarious observations, happy occurences in each ones life, keep my head in the clouds and imagine I am on a tropical Island with a genie who is at my command and leave all the dirt on the floor of that gathering. I guess the family cant begrudge me leaving their dirt behind... Saavvy??(imagine that said in the best impersonation of Jack Sparrow I can muster)
18 comments:
LOL betting on the highlights, this is a good message, we do tend to do things out of habit that we know will not have the best outcome
lol...ahhh Would it be so we could change anyone ?? ...especially those 20 yr olds...But take heart, Rashmi, they DO change .. but it takes as much time to change as it does to crystallize into stubborn image - role playing... We changed, didn't we? or were we always so wise? lol, or did we just simply wake up real slow so 's not to notice we did it.?....lol
Favorite saying in my frig..."If you require someone to change, you require them to lie to you."
I take heart in that if the person is basically good... no worries... and if not.. it aint my problem. I can't fix them.
How true!
Oh Jackie, that was just a fluke :P. And I am not wise. I tend to see cause I dont do much :P. And I dont like waking up, its just too dark these days (giggling)
I did this quite a few times in my life. No more. (I hope.)
PFFFTTT !!!
And just what do you think the wise one does ?? They watch.. mouth closed so as not to let out errant division, therefore allowing the Self to observe and learn and be comfortable knowing you are enough.. Right ? And what would you do ?? get in the middle ? To one side or the other? Naw .. see how wise you are ??
I love waking up before the sun.. It is a good time for me .. but then I know for sure I will get a nap somewhere in mid-morning.. after having been up for about 4 or 5 hours reading and writing. after that I go about doing what I feel like doing.. in a random sort of order that lets me be both rebellious and in control at the same time .. See how I deal with my dichotomy ?? LOLOL !!!
I have been bestowed the label of Fence Sitter and now after listening to you.. I am going to wear it proudly (see my pride :P)
Oops Jackie, I should have said, we are just an exception to the rule ;)*giggles*
LOL !! Well now ...(laughing almost too hard to type ) ...Let's see how long you can sit on that fence without getting a sore tush....LOL
Simona, sometimes it will not be the ones you already did with but something new. But we all eventually get to let it go and finding new ways to work things out for ourselves...guess that is what is best about being Human. :)
Well,what can I say, Pride Goeth before Fall :P
Ahhh...and rightly so.....many make the trek and fall back ... It is joyous to take this journey when it is understood that synchronicity rules the plan , and choices rules the outcome.....Wiseness is just this.. Observing, timing, intention, and intuitive trust. This is wiseness... and we learn this as we grow in our own perfect way...
I consider my boundaries now.. and keep quiet unless asked for an opinion... but if it is something causing strain .. then require they both sit with you and go from there.. You set your boundaries.. they are now subordinate to you..as the Matriarchal Word....lol In the meantime...pray ...lol Remember , you will never be challenged with anything you can't handle... Believe it...Boundaries.. for everyone, including you...a suggestion.
For now, I have set my boundary at, "You need to work it out for yourself" I can watch you and maybe if the situation so demands let you lean on me, if I feel strong enough else we will have to crawl...I cant seem to let go of family, guess I have to unlearn some bonds.
Ohhh Good thought !! .. The bonds exist for a reason..but this bond should not mean servitude to logistics...but as partners in karmic transmutating. Honor and love the partnership as it is a perfect set up for you to transmute.. The more one conficts, the more one tends to want to run or ignore it...That's the signal to stare it down , and face whatever reality is charging at you head on. One of the hardest we mothers have to face is the issue of control. Letting go of an identity...
I began to notice that the phrase was a perfect metaphor for our clinging to certain patterns in our life. We do something that has a result that clearly shows it doesnt work for us, yet we will do it again and again expecting a different result... Just like the sardarji, betting on the highlight.
I read that and immediately thought of a certain sister of mine. *snort*
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