A Housewife's life is a series of never-ending chores. I enjoy some and others I do them cause it has to be done. I enjoy chores like cleaning, shining or polishing something or putting order to closets that become the catch all, folding symmetrical clothes. It gives me that extra Oomph! to see the RESULTS - shining and perfect little squares or rectangles sitting on the closet shelf and it stays that way for at least a week or two, after which, I feel it is a reasonable lapse of time to do it again. Most other jobs never seem like they are done. The sink gets empty only to get full, floors get mopped only to be mopped again, counters get cleaned only to get cluttered, the laundry basket gets empty only to get full, the clothes get Ironed and folded/hung only to be taken out and wrinkled, I eat only to feel hungry again in a four hours, Food gets cooked and then I have to cook again. Even the words I used to converse is redundant - "Drive carefully" "Please shut the door gently" "Please lower the TV volume" "Put your shoes in its place" "Put away those toys" "Put your desk in order" "Put the clothes IN the laundry basket". It might seem unreasonable or unpractical, sometimes Trivial, as-this is life- people would say, but I look at the redundancy of the jobs I do and think I am no different than a Factory Machine- Do- repeat process - repeat process - repeat process.
In a month or two the Machine Breaks down or goes on strike- that's when people in my home cant find their socks, cant find a clean glass, find their part of the closet empty, have an upset stomach from eating all meals outside the house. That's also when everyone in my home become the Buddha, and Enlightenment occurs - "Oh!! there was someone doing all these things in the background." Then we have mini and macro Buddha's running around the house, there is so much help doing the chores that I feel like an undeserving, ungrateful, unloving Queen.
We had that kind of day over the weekend. I was vacationing from the vacation ... I got myself a Huge pile of books and decided "I am going to trade one redundancy for another which I enjoy - read every-time there's a chore to do". We had the Enlightenment Conference and sparks flew everywhere like mini-fireworks, every chore was done without me having to repeat them. YAY!!
Now, its time to get back to my Housewifely Life filled with redundancy, that I actually seem to Love(shh!! don't tell them that, I love those conferences) yet have to Complain about every now and then.
Peace Always
Rashmi.
19 comments:
Finding the blessings of motherhood in the mundane, endless servitude of daily life is indeed a challenge. To find the joy in filling the expectations of others while ours are left begging. To maintain the nest in the fashion you dream more than possess. And above all find that space within that sees you at the pinnacle of it all... not in subservience, but as the apex of the heart of this family... Selflessness is not a given... and even motherhood has its limits.
In all conflict there is but one solution. Remove yourself from the conflict. If the conflict is within yourself , the conflict is about self worth. To know your worth as matriarch.. and yet seemingly reap no benefits, is a misalignment of your perceived identity. The real challenge is to know from where to find your blessings. Look to your intentions.
Oh the Benefits are there right in front of me..Happy Kids, growing at their pace. I couldnt ask for more. I agree with my Husband, I need to learn to ease up and let those things go - the need to have perfect squares/rectangles in the clothes closet, everything ALWAYS in its place, the need to have things looking very pleasing to my eye, to have that IDEAL of Perfection that projects itself on the things I do. My mother would say I have too much time to worry about such things(giggling). I hope to learn to just be with the job instead of the result.. I like results(thats my ego needing that validation that "Yes, the job is done")
My Darling Rashmi.. perfection is so boring ...lol ... I was so much like you ... I had to learn that the hard way ... and wondered what it was about me that I could not be happy with all the perfection I created around me ... thing was ... I never actually was able to create it !!! ...LOL !!... perfection is best left to the gods... we humans need to be human ... Like I said once ..." I love being human ... it saves me from embarassment."...I had let go of so many ideas about what my reflection MUST be in order for me to be comfortable ... when all I saw were reflections ... and they were all of me not quite ever making the mark.....ughh..
Well, Rashmi, you have to share the chores with those happy kids and with hubby. Everyone joins the house work.
I didn't like it as a kid, but we all had chores, to help Mom out. Mom is a permanent, 24/7 job and if the kids don't give her some break and help her out... well, she has some physical and mental limits.
But I know you do the best you can so your kids won't be like some examples of brats you can find in this country. Giving them structure and letting them be kids is your best work.
Its funny how I know rationally, that Perfection is just pure BS but somehow I cant put that to practice Always(the not being in alignment you talked about). I slip up ever so often and never "Make the Mark". Yes, it is a Reflection MUST BE concept..guess I have to go through the same process of growing most every Woman has over the eons. This is one of those times I dont really like Learning(giggling). Love that quote about being Human.. think I will make a fridge-magnet of those words.
They are growing to be gentle, loving, thoughtful kids but they are Kids.. I want them to have their childhood as kids, playing, exploring and growing in understanding...so for now I try not to force them to do the chores instead get them to join me in the doing(its still a choice but I want them to do it cause they Want To not because they HAVE TO, it just takes a long while and lots of patience to get them to Want doing the mundane in the process of growing)
If there is joy in a process it will be something EN-joyed... Your joy reflected in what you do... will become something your children will emulate ... not simply the ability to do chores well, efficiently or as a matter of course. Joy instilled is a blessing from the teacher..
at least your house is in order and really clean, I work 40 to 50 hours a week, a cleanning lady cleans my house once a week...nobody really take care of the rest...so it is never really in order and never really clean, sometimes I fantasise about taking three months off from my job just to make a major cean up!...then how long would it last? I watched a movie yesterday that made me think of you, I wonder if you had seen it and what you would think about it, it is called ''namesake'' about a man moving from India to the USA and how he and his wife and kids deal with the different culture they now live in...
LOL oh Rashmi that's how it is and you are the Queen of your little castle. Rule with dignaty and take time out for queenly duties like reading whenever you can.Your subjects will respect you more that way.
Well written post LOL.
Wow! Impressive indeed. I wish I had known you when I was younger....LOL.
hahaha.....It is good to send such reminders once in a while to the other folks at home......
nice n witty....keep them coming....
by the way let me get back to washing the dishes as my Queen Bee is also on a "Roman Holiday"
Why don't you get them to do something every day?
LOL!
You never cease to amaze me!
PS - ok, I won't tell them! **lol**
Not really, it looks lived in, not everything is in ORDER like I define ORDER but its alright.
LOL, next time you fantasize, lets make an appointment with each other, we could both sit and daydream together.
I got the book "Namesake" have to start reading it. It was one among my pile.. guess I will take a picture of the Pile and put it up here.
Lol, its so true.
Oh but you are young.. just in your second teenage ;).
LOL Kannan, I knew you would understand.
I do, only I have to repeat it a few times to get them done.
Thank you (giggling)
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