Being Cultured

There so much talked about culture. We use it to differentiate ourselves from others. We like to fluff our collars when we talk about being "Cultured". We like to use it as a derogatory term when we say "He/She is so uncultured". I wonder, if we really understand what culture means? The dictionary gives the meaning of CULTURED as "having refined taste and manners along with a good education". I look at the terms "Taste" "manners" and "education" and I remember Einstein... it is all so Relative.

This is an incident that happened when I came to the US. My husband and I walked into a shop and I walked in without holding the door for the person behind me. I hear a gasp from behind and I turn around to a shocked, disgusted expression with "how uncouth and rude". I didnt understand at the time what she meant. To a degree I was insulted, cause in my country only the Doorman held the door for you. So according to me I was neither rude nor uncouth. Later my husband explained that it was considered manners to hold the door for the person behind you. Ok, I got it. Now the question. Does it make me uncultured because I was ignorant or my "culture" is different? Although I admit that I would have seemed rude to her, I feel, she did make a moutain out of a molehill. I still muck up when it comes to Manners according to people in the US, so sue me(giggling, Someone give me lessons?)

Heres what I think when I say a person is cultured, to me it means decent behaviour- in mind and body. Decent means, not knowingly offending someone else's sensibility or sense of personal space. Its the tone of voice you use when you speak and the way you use words. Its being able to look beyond our expectations and savouring the beauty around us. It is being able to use our words and our actions to give happiness to others. It is being able to accept differences without malice. It is being able to tolerate something that is not your preference. It is being able to be poised no matter how aggravating the situation is. It is being flexible to changes. Its being able to hold on to the good in you in excruciating circumstances. It is a sense nobleness that comes being honest, brave and compassionate on the inside. Its how you carry yourself when you walk. Its that sense of joy that you tend to give out when you meet people. (Very relative yes, but no hipocrisy). I do think to become cultured, we need a combination of being observant of life around you, being educated(not necessarily holding degrees and certificates but the knowing and understanding of what is learned), aspiring to better yourself and to a degree pushing on our comfort zones with discretion(yes, experimenting with alcohol and drugs are also in a way pushing on our comfort zones, but its not necessarily a good thing)

What are your opinions about being cultured?