Tuesday Thoughts 10.

It will be seven months since my mother's passing in 3 days. Time passes quickly while the missing passes like a snail.

I need to form a discipline about writing and righting the way I use Time. And the Irony - That I am saying that at the age I am.. Shouldnt I have got it right by now?

I am reading Pythagoras revenge by Arthuro Sangalli  and The poet Game by Salar Abdoh. Pythagoras revenge, is interesting up until now. It made me think about all the brain teasing math we used to work on while at school, some of which I remember.  Poet Game is about a spy and its beginning to give me the James Bond feel in the Arab world.  I need to finish it in a week so I can return the books to the library before I am fined.

I dont really enjoy shopping (unless its books and stuff I will never buy) and I hate it more when I shop for clothes. I never find stuff that fits me or my children right, its always too loose or too tight, too short or needs some alteration of some kind.. I miss our Tailor back home, guess I have a secret crush on him.. and sshhh dont tell anyone that.

I need to get my planters and seeds ready.  This year I hope to grow some veges too, apart from herbs, flowers and chilles.

The weather is gloomy. I dont know, how it knows how I feel. I need something playful and exciting in my life right now and my husband, is at work... Hrmph! (folds the hands and stomps the feet)

Reading about Obama and the Bills that dont seem to go anywhere and I was thinking about the proverb back home "Gumpinalli Govinda"  Which translates to "Singing in the Choir" meaning.. no matter how good your intentions, thoughts, deeds are or how intelligent or better human being you are, when you get in a group of 10 or more everything Dilutes to the point where all that is good and noble disappears.. Hence the Proverb "Satthare swarga" translating to "We see Heaven only when we die"  meaning - if you need something done, you need to do it alone.

I read this news yesterday - http://news.yahoo.com/s/livescience/20100111/sc_livescience/couchpotatoesmayhaveshorterlives
and I am thinking, I should walk as I read, I will cover many miles, while living long enough to see my children make something of their lives.  Hmm.. now walking as I sit and type at the puter is a tough one.. how do I do that?  Or who knows come 2012 and everything will be done according to some, so I dont need worry do I?

I read this about Swineflu Vaccine yesterday -
http://www.news.com.au/adelaidenow/story/0,22606,26580082-912,00.html?from=public_rss
and thought, "And no one thought of it before?"

Called my Dad this morning, he was not feeling so good and I wondered what part of my thoughts was manifesting while I listened to him talk...Thats the only thing I can do, Listen to his words and hopefully interject something to make him laugh at  himself and the situation he is in.  I do wish for a magic wand of happiness.

I have so many wishes for myself that I can bet the Poor around the world will Ride.  For my friends who have known Johnoh, I wish you peace and acceptance. For Johnoh's Family I wish strength. I never Knew Johnoh but from all the words I read, I Feel the warmth and affection. May he rest in Peace.

Wishing you all a Productive Day.

Peace
Rashmi.

P. S. Simona asked a very thought provoking question in the blog that she wrote about Johnoh - How would you like to die?

I would want to die while I am still able to do all the stuff I do, die in my sleep. I dont want to be taken care of or in the hospital. I dont want to see the ones I love suffer my pain. I want to die like a Samurai, no regrets, no fear, no bitterness, live like I will never see a tomorrow, did what I did as rightly as I could, loved and cared for the ones who are in my life wholeheartedly and gave whatever I could give, in whatever way I could give.

I wrote this blog a few years ago... this is sort of how I would like to look back on my life - Reflections on my Deathbed .