On Identity

Identity : thats the word that I have been mulling over.  It all started with a few news clippings I read over the past 6 months.  The phrases included "eroding our cultural identity" "It is a matter of National Identity" "Native languages form a cohesive tribal identity" "confusion with Gender Identity" "contaminating our racial identity".

I looked at the number of identities I have and felt like a chameleon. I went through all the adjectives and adverbs I have to describe and qualify my "identity" and here they are in no particular order - Woman, Asian, Indian, south Indian, Hindu, Kodava, Bangalorean, non-resident Indian, teacher, nurse, Mother, wife, sister, daughter, friend, best friend, acquaintance, cyber-buddy, Stay-at-home mother, straight, 30 something etc. etc. Although right now I dont know what I am when it comes to National Identity cause to my people back home "I have no clue about whats happening in my own nation"  and to the people here "I have no clue whats happening here"  So guess my identity for now is Ignorance.  I also wonder how much trouble people who have changed their citizenship for some reason or other, Or those who have dual citizenship- have when it comes to identifying themselves with an Imaginary Line drawn to separate the borders.

The Dictionary defines Identity as "the quality or condition of being a specified person; the individuality and personality; The set of behavioral or personal characteristics by which an individual is recognizable as a member of a group; The distinct personality of an individual regarded as a persisting entity; individuality."

Now as I was doing this I thought, there must be some research done on this topic either in the field of Psychology or Anthropology.  Having studied neither of those subjects, I "googled"(why do I feel that is going to become a word in the dictionary somewhere in the nearest future) it and sure enough there was so much written about "identity", but it was mostly about Business Identity, whatever that means.  I thought the Identity of business was "making money". There was also stuff about Identity theft as in the theft of Identification cards.  So it got me thinking. We really have no clue about a person's identity, we just believe that the person is who s/he says they are.   There is no way of really proving that the existing person is who s/he says s/he is.  Identity is an Illusion.

In the field of Psychology, Identity supposedly develops during our teens.  Usually the quest for our identity starts with questions like "What/who am I?  What will happen to me when I die? When/How did I begin?"  We begin to see what we are capable off and what we want to do and where we fall in the grand scheme of things.  That means our identities are based on where we were born, who brought us up, what our circumstances are in the growing up. While the first two cant change, the last one does.  This further means that Identity is based on :
1. Memory- Memories of what we are told about who we are and memories of what we have experiences so far.
2. Character- The role we play(this is a key word, cause Play is transient) within a Society or Group of people.

When I look at those two words "Memory and Character"  I see that Shakespeare was wise though he used a Cliche' in his play As You Like It-
"All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages."

So our precious Identity is merely the characters in the play. We memorize our  acts(experiences) and Play the character to the hilt. While it would do most of us Good to hang on to the Joys and the Positives in our Life.  Most of us Hold on to our Wounds because we remember. We walk through life crippled 'cause we cant forget that wound. I think its a human condition, 'cause like Einstein's  relativity, time does seem to pass fast while we are happy and so it doesnt leave deep impressions like sorrow does.. Sorrow takes the longest winding path in time, or at least, it does Seem so to me.

Every once in a while we appear before people with who we cant show our wounds to and so we hide them, thereby changing our identities very subtly. We then walk for a while like as if we were never wounded, though it hurts. If we do that long enough we realize that we can actually walk like we werent hurt, if we decided to do so.  Some of us will choose to walk like that forever, others will choose to revert back to the part of the wounded soldier when no ones looking(we forget we are watching ourselves too). 

I have read that when a person is blind in one eye, our brains are capable compensating for the loss of vision by using the other eye more.  That for those who are Blind, the skin takes over the function of seeing, using the visual cortex(the area of the brain that is used in vision, changing its identity to something that responds to touch instead of vision). I wonder why the brain cant do that for our emotions.  Wouldnt it be great if the brain can override any negative emotion or emotions that put us in the STRESS zone, for more than one 24 hour cycle?  Or would it help to become aware. If we were able to see that these numerous qualities we associate with ourselves as part of our Identity is relevant only as long as we make it our contract to play that role.  If we decide, we could get off the stage and not play that role anymore or choose to play a different role, we only need to have the courage to step out.  I was told- "Courage is not about not being afraid, its about doing the things that you know will make you stronger in spite of being afraid." 

Pondering as Usual.
Mithuna.