Summer Vacation has officially started. I have a tentative list of things I want to do with my children. I hope we actually tick off the stuff by the end of July.
Its five days since my Mother's Second death anniversary. Its amazing that two years have passed and so much has happened since. I hate to admit that it still stings somewhere inside.
I woke up at 5 today...so that hubby and I could go for a walk together, instead of walking by ourselves at different times. We did 2 miles with a 14% grade for half a mile both ways in 40 minutes. Guess I should feel happy, hmm...
The Irises, Columbine, Poppy and Roses have bloomed. We put our backyard lawn in order and somehow the green of the lawn makes my coffee taste mmmm mmm good!!! Will put them up online soon.
It looks like we are going to have a cloudy day. I hope it doesn’t rain...I just want spring like it was supposed to be. Except for the round of allergies nothing is the same. *Sigh* I don’t like the New Normal this Spring.
I like the early morning/late evening silence. The house is so quiet, I can hear it breathe.
My husband and I had our back to back birthdays this month. I turned 40. I feel like I should have had some profound moment where everything fell in place or felt accomplished or felt like I was the QUEEN of the world...but nothing. Guess, its all in place and there’s nothing that requires changing :P.
My father has stayed sober for 4 months now…And I am so grateful. I felt guilty when he fell ill and was in the ICU for about 3 weeks in Feb. In a moment of intense sadness two years ago, I wished that he would fall so ill that he won’t be able to touch his drink and that will be the start of getting rid of his addiction. I was shocked when the wish came true...I understand every moment will be a challenge for him.
I really like working with children...maybe I should further my education in the early childhood education.
I got books on Cahokia Mounds and how to read what they dig out at archeological sites... it is fascinating, especially the way things are interpreted.
Did I use too many ellipses in writing this? I need to brush up on the grammar rules for writing. *giggling*.
What is happening with you?
Have a Joyfully Productive Week.
4 comments:
First off... A very Happy Belated Birthday greeting to you ! ....ahhh 40... That is a very good year..lol .. I remember mine very well.. A sort of rite of passage into the realm of appreciated maturity.. by peers of course... Not too sure about offspring and their teenage vantage point, however..lol
As for any AHA ! moments about who you are becoming, I am afraid that eludes those who are busy doing life in the moment and simply have no time to catalogue verbatim how well they are doing...Change seems incrementally so indefineable it takes years upon years to be able to look back and admire our own journey's progression.
I imagine the sting of your mother's memory will never completely fade.. I have found that I grew to know her better when it wasn't an "in-your-face" sort of thing. I am much more comfortable with her now.. she died in '88.
You and I share a similar enjoyment of coffee in the a.m. out in our little space amid springtime blooms.
I can thoroughly understand the torments alcoholism can bring when immersed as a witness.. It befell so many of my close family members, I feel somewhat fortunate that it never had me in its clutches. For those in recovery, it takes time for the brain to heal, and for new realities to work out the hellish temptation to falter back into oblivion... I call it a journey long postponed into accountability ..and a voluntary exercise at doing life for real.
Your desire to work with children seems perfect for you... especially the small ones who have a remarkable way of challenging your own child to play and grow up in joyful abandon. When I am with my own grandchildren I totally forget age.. and we have marvelous times being silly and creatively doing whatever spontaneous thing that pops up.
As for your writing.. it is always a wonderful read...You know how to turn a phrase and breach the boundaries of self-absorption that creates those defenses most consider too private to share.
Love this post.. Enjoy your summer with your children .. you are all most fortunate to be able to do this.. so many aren't ...
Thank You Jackie!
LOL @ Not too sure about offspring and their teenage vantage point, however. There are days, when I wake up thinking I am 16 and have to get to school...so I guess in some ways I havent Grown at all. But there are days my children tell me to stop acting like I am THAT OLD *tee hee*. I like that curious, nothing is impossible age that happens around 3-7 after which most will retain their curiousity but know that fire can burn and climbing way too high on the tree means you may not be able to get off.
I am willing my father to stay sober. I have him and other elders in my clan who I need to thank for making me steer clear of alcohol, smoking etc...
You lead an incredibly interesting and varied life. Thank you for sharing with such depth your world. Hugs Michael
We did 2 miles with a 14% grade for half a mile both ways in 40 minutes. Guess I should feel happy, hmm...
Oh! I am not surprised thats Rashmi with minute details of 14% grade. There was no guessing, I could see the happiness in your face while writing. Keep walking
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