Musings on Abortion

DISCLAIMER : This blog is merely the wonderings and wanderings of My Nomadic Mind...I understand it's a controversial topic.  Your thoughts are welcome but please understand that, this is not a discourse on lobbying for either Pro-life or Pro-choice camps. My intention is not to offend anyone. But if at all you are offended, I hope you will let it be as just another Opinion. After all everyone has an opinion.

This is probably going to be a LONG Blog. While driving back after dropping my son off at school, I listened as usual to my quota of news on the NPR. Here's something that caught my attention: "South Carolina is considering a controversial abortion bill. If passed, the state would become the first to require women to view an ultrasound image before getting an abortion."

Got me thinking... I am, for all purposes of everyday Life a supporter of Non-violence in all its forms, except when it comes to my aunt's mutton biriyani, Mom's Masala Chicken, sis-in-law's Chilli pork, Dad's fried fish and an occasional fist fight with my brother, oh! and not to forget the Bloody nose I gave my classmate .

Although this news doesn't concern me in the here and Now, it does concern me because I am a woman. Now here's the IRONY about this News - It took ages for women to get to the point where we are "independent" to make choices regarding our own life. So why now, are the very same Women(I used that term for all of womanity) axing the choice's that were won with such a difficulty? Why would a woman(I speak for those who are Adults) who has already decided to go through an abortion be forced by law to have an ultra-sound? Ok it didnt make sense to me. I always thought an ultra-sound was for someone who is going through with the pregnancy, a way to check if the growth of the fetus is alright. So now our society has reached the zenith of civilization cause now those in power will use Emotional Blackmail to get the others to conform to a choice that they think is right?

In my three and a half decades of Living, I have seen changes in the society from my quiet corner. Some of them, I like and some, I dislike. I love the advancement in technology in some areas of life(the internet for example) but I hate the price we are paying- have broken family bonds, broken homes, lives. We have a society where the baton of passing on the wisdom of the elders has become extinct. The Scary part, is that this group of people(where I belong too) who have never had the wisdom passed on, will be making laws for others to live by.

Lets look at some of the scenarios :

SCENE 1

A Woman is raped and she is impregnated-If I put myself in her shoes(trust me, it's a difficult thing to do) I wouldn't want a reminder of that Man or of that horrible day, for the rest of my life. So in all my senses, I would choose an abortion. Now the Pro-lifers will say "But you are killing a child, what is the child's fault? Agreed its not the Child's fault.. but is it my fault? Why do I have to suffer for ONE Horrid day when excruciating circumstances made me a Victim? What about MY LIFE? I am already Living, thinking, feeling. The Child is yet to come, doesn't know JACK(no offense to my friends Jack) about life. Oh that's fine goes the Pro-lifer, you could always give away your baby for adoption, to some couple who will bring that baby up as their own, you don't have to suffer.. REALLY? I KNOW that child is alive somewhere, I KNOW, that by giving birth to that child, I am partly responsible for it being here and should be the one caring for it, since I am not dead yet. What about being responsible for your life, taking care of the things that happen to you? If I am going to responsible for my life, then I make the choices that will help me be responsible. Do any of the Pro-lifers know how it feels to be raped and then hold that Psycho's seed in your womb? Oh! Some of the Pro-lifers could go to the point where they could say "well, you asked to be raped, what were you doing/wearing/where were you, so now you pay for it" ... Well if you say so, you are like a horse wearing blinders. 

Lets look at the Pro-choice camp Hmm.. that's where I would be in this scene.. I would let the Victim choose-its her life, its not easy bringing up a child under normal circumstances, imagine bringing up a child where you are constantly hating the child for the sins of its father. The guilt of giving up a child for adoption after you hold in your womb for 9 months is far more than the guilt of having an abortion in 4-8 weeks. Either way the woman is going to feel guilty so why not chose a lesser guilt to deal with?

SCENE 2

A promiscuous woman(yeah reminds me of the Nelly Furtado song). She uses Abortion as birth control : what would I do? On the emotional side, I would love to let her have a baby just to shock her into seeing what she's doing. Ok, on the Rational side, No idea, really its her body, I would probably educate her about the contraceptives, on reproductive health and overall health of a Woman and let her chose what she does. In this circumstance I would have the law have a penalty if the the lady has had a series of abortion within a year or three years.  So that it doesn't become a norm but still stays as a choice. I would always wonder though, what happened in her life for her to live a lifestyle where she harms herself? Where has family and society and community failed her?

SCENE 3

A happily married couple, already have a baby about 6 months old and by some fluke/mistake the lady gets pregnant again. They have just enough when it comes to finances and cant really afford to have another Baby(yeah I know that seems very calculative, but that's life, you need money to live and whether we like it or not, a baby is an expensive being). They have no family or friends where they live(yeah rare, but it happens). They are a nuclear unit. What should they do? Yes they could hire someone to help out..but they don't have the extra finances unless they go into debt. What should they do? Keep the baby, at the risk of probably having a debt that will bulge over the years or a broken marriage from the stress of having two kids below the age of 2 to look after 24/7? What would I choose...I have no clue.

SCENE 4

The couple are pregnant and very thrilled, they go for the first ultrasound and are told soon after that its better to have an amniocentesis done cause there seems to be some indication of a genetic disease that will make the child chronically ill for life or bedridden for life. What would I choose ? Really I have no clue, it would depend on where I am in my life emotionally, financially, socially.

These are only few of the scenarios in my droplets of observation. Motherhood is one of those Exalted places in life. To a woman, it is that phase of life where there is an abundance of Joy, Doubts, Fears, Guilt and Sadness. Today some of us, would choose an Abortion. The word brings so many emotions into my mind, and I am guessing other women feel the same way. It is appalling and not appalling, depending on the circumstance. It is for some, the only choice for others one of the many choices. What makes a person choose Abortion? There are as many reasons as there are women. Every time I read the stories of the whys and wherefores of Abortion, I have concluded, that the problem isn't having or not having an abortion or in the existing laws, but how the person gets to that point in life to make such a choice. To me, the place we should be fixing is not making a new bill against abortion but fixing the way societies and communities function. Do we take care of the young in our families? Do we work on making ourselves better? Do we take care of the Old in our families? It all starts with ourselves and our families, then it spills into the society and communities. Given today's diverse societies, we cant have any group of people's Moral Code turn into Laws. Laws should be made, not to step on personal choices of a person but to ensure that when we make those choices we are not infringing on others personal choice. The point I was trying to make is very cliche', that the issue is so much Grey than what the Pro-life and Pro-choice camps have.

Will be waiting to see the result of that Bill in South Carolina.

Peace always

Mithuna.