Entry for April 02, 2007

Over the weekend I watched the Movie The Last Samurai(for probably the 10th time now). I love that movie, its one of my favorites. I watch the scenes where the simple act of sitting down and closing a door or washing your hair or practicing calligraphy or simply watching others practice archery is done with such poise, finesse and grace. I watch them again and again in the hope that some of that might rub off on to me.

When every act is done with our whole being focused on what we are doing, with the least amount of movement, greatest amount of confidence and least complication in thinking, we see grace. I like the instruction that Nobutada(a character in the movie) gives Algren(another character) while practicing kendo- the art of using the sword. He says "No Mind" and when Algren looks puzzled he explains "you Mind the sword, the people watching, the enemy, many minds. NO MIND."  To be all there in the Doing. How tough that is in my world.

I am probably the most klutzy person on the face of the earth, the kind that stirs in sugar when I should be putting in salt, the kind that trips while walking barefoot on the smooth floor. It is really rare for me to be all there most times, my brain is proud of pre-occupation and multi-tasking. Normal for me is, to be cooking while I am planning tomorrow's menu, keeping track of my kids reading, making sure my son is holding the pencil correctly, coming back to check on the food, making a mental list of things I will have to get ready for the next morning *sigh*. As I write this, I watched the lady pass by with her dog, the hummingbird at the feeder, told my son to put his shoes away before they go to the dustbin, checked on dinner that's on the stove. Do I need to say more?

I wasn't always like this...somewhere between being married and being a mother I have become the queen of pre-occupation and distraction. I know some of my friends feel this way too but I haven't heard the men complain about it. I wonder if others feel this way too? Is it just a malady that most of us go through or am I the odd one out?

Making a Resolution for the week -- practice Mindfulness or rather NO MIND.