2007 - looking back

The obvious thing about the last year is that I aged by ONE more year.  One more wrinkle to show, a few more grays at the temple and a couple of pounds to add(wish I could say subtract).   

 

Apart from that, I feel almost the same as I did in 2006.  I still range from feeling like an inadequate, inept 16 year old to feeling like a very grounded, too ancient to put an age person. I dont know how to feel like I am going to be 37.  I wish there was someone who would tell me.  I still am easily amused, I giggle a lot. I still like spicy food.  I still look for my Utopia, with Perfection and Idealism for Pillars, though my rational knows it doesn’t exist.  I haven’t yet mastered the art of saying NO.  Still getting acquainted with the different sides of me. Still enjoy reading, being the watcher/observer, knowing more things that interest me. And shoes that I bought some 5 years ago still fits me(oh! the wonder of things).

 

The year was filled with mixed blessings-We are sort of settled into the house and the routine of life.  Vijay(my husband) made a trip alone to India(home). He finally made the trip to Amarnath and Vishnodevi(pilgrimage), after talking about it for almost 6 years now(I am glad to have that out of the way).  He met his family and his langoti yaars (diaper-hood friends) and enjoyed his 5 week stay.  I think he’s beginning to feel his age, he recently wondered if he should buy a motorcycle.  To me he’s still the bluntly honest, hard to offend, funny, sharp, Practical(as opposed to my head in the clouds) person that I met 17 years ago.

 

My son is in KG this year. He has begun to read, enjoys reading Curious George, Clifford books and any book that has dinosaurs or animals as the topic.  He loves to draw, colour and make “inventions” with empty boxes, wires, yarn etc.  Daughter is in 2^nd grade.  She likes art and Math and the Why’s of things.  She’s become quite fluent at reading and has graduated to chapter books of about 200 pages each.  With it comes new hassles for mommy(me)- Now I have added to my list of Nags “Poonam, put that book away. Your dinner/breakfast is getting cold”.  She has my Youth Gene for wanting to finish the book before doing anything else. .

 

I began to send them for Piano lessons and they had their first recital in Dec.  I was nervous but they did so well.  I was amazed.  Both have begun reading music too which I thought was tough to do for my son.   I also got my daughter to attend Yoga classes and my son  Tae Kwon Do classes.. initially , I wanted my daughter to learn some form of martial art too, but after a lot of talking I realized, she just wasn’t interested in it… My son passed his first belt exam too. He had to break a board for it(yes! he was thrilled he could do it and so was I).

 

I introduced my kids to Hindi, I hope to have them at least reading and writing hindi by the time they finish their 10 grade.  I want them to have a link to the language of their ancestors.  I plan on teaching them Spanish and some of my dialect too so that they will know a few languages between them.   In a way, language is a bond that keeps people together.  So I want to equip them with something that shows them the common thread in all the differences.

 

My Paternal grand-mom passed away in October, she was 92.   I did not go for her funeral(its probably going to be a regret I am going to have for the rest of my life).  My Mother has the fixed routine with dialysis and other medical complications. My dad is the sole caregiver.  I am the long distance Vent your Anger here Person, when I call home I let my parents Vent.  On one hand its sad to see the role reversal but on the other that’s all I can do sitting here. To a degree it eases my guilt of not being there in their time of need. 

 

I finally got around to fulfilling one of my childhood dreams… I started taking Flute lessons.  I just started so I have a long way to go before I play like a Musician.  The beginning was very frustrating, I had to retrain my fingers, I still get confused.  But my ear is begun to train itself, before I knew when something didn’t sound right, now I have begun to understand why doesn’t sound right.  The last class, I was finally able to play a duet with my teacher, keeping time and playing correctly.  Of course I stuck with the most simple music – Greensleeves - its an old tune that I love humming to myself.  Was I thrilled?  Oh yes!! I was, though it didn’t last long when he asked me to play the Turkish march by Beethoven.  Arggh!! thats the assignment for next week...

 

That’s my last year… This year, I haven’t made any resolutions but I am going to keep the words, Discipline, Organization of Time and Resources, Focus(spiritually/emotionally/financially) and Compassion for those I am presently living with in mind.  Hopefully at the end of this year I will say “I had the most blessed year”.

 

Still feeling like all is as it should be

Rashmi.